Bryson, Bryson He's My Man!

Well, not technically but people... Bill Bryson is "the tits" as the English would say!! My love for him started long ago. He was born in Iowa and moved to England when he was 22. He stayed there for 20 odd years and then returned to New Hampshire. He is the FUNNIEST travel writer EVER!! His first book, The Lost Continent, is all about his return to the America of his youth only to find that they had both grown up. He then wrote about returning to places he had visited in Europe (Neither Here Nor There), his time in England (Notes From a Small Country), the time he spent in Africa and Australia.... All of them hilarious and chock full of information! His book on walking the Appalachian Trail (A Walk In The Woods) made me want to buy a back pack and go! And that's saying a lot people!!

He has also written some terribly helpful books about language and phrasing and troublesome words and the terribly handy, A Short History Of Nearly Everything. His newest book is all about Shakespeare and how ridiculously little we know about him. Even if thou dost know nothing about Will, it is an amazing study about a man who is seen as the most influential dramatist ever and one we know next to nothing about. I love Bill Bryson!! (He also does the audio tour that is available at the Roman Baths in Bath- in case anyone is taking a road trip this weekend!) Read ANYTHING by him!! I guarantee you will be laughing out loud in your home, at Starbucks or on the subway!!

"So it needs to be said that nearly all of the anti-Shakespeare sentiment - actually all of it, every
bit - involves manipulative scholarship or sweeping misstatements of fact. Shakespeare 'never owned a book', a writer for the New York Times gravely informed readers in one doubting article in 2002. The statement cannot actually be refuted, for we know nothing about his incidental possessions. But the writer might just as well have suggested that Shakespeare never owned a pair of shoes or pants. For all the evidence tells us, he spent his life naked from the waist down, as well as bookless...."

from Shakespeare by my man, Bill Bryson

Views from Abroad....

Here is Matt and me... at Tortworth Court, at The Wookey Hole (there was a dinosaur bit on campus- good stuff), atop May Hill. Oh, the horse that wanted me dead.

Once abroad... always a Broad!

So, this morning, after a leisurely lie-in, Matt and I climbed May Hill!! It was lovely. Views for miles and 99 tall, tall trees at the top! We took many photos, had a picnic lunch and I was almost killed by a free range horse. (In the horse's defense, I had tried to pet his pal on the way up and he was giving me bigtime evils and on the way down, he objected to my stopping for a picture and proceeded to chase me down the hill!) But all in all, it was a fine adventure! Then came the death of my camera battery... ahh, well. Forgot the charger- not so bright.

We then returned home to watch the rugby. Now, I only know a bit about rugby but Matt has a real love for the sport that was definitely encouraged by his Dad! Yesterday, England beat Samoa and today New Zealand kicked Scotland's ass. Here are my observations about today's game:

1) Scotland's uniform is a very dark navy blue. New Zealand's is black. They looked terribly similar- almost too much! When they are all huddled up in their little scrums, it is very difficult to tell who is on what team. Both aesthetically and for the ref, I have issues with this. Of course, I felt a bit girlie pointing it out to Matt until the half when it was the hot topic amongst the announcers!! I am sure that Chris Berman would have been on my side, too!

2) Scotland is called Scotland. England, England. Samoa... no clue. BUT New Zealand has a nickname! They have always been known as the All Blacks. This seems a bit, how shall I say- un PC of NZ! My high school teams were known as the Redmen (not rugby as we didn't have one of those but everything else!) and are currently the Red Hawks. The Salmon was a suggestion if I remember correctly, but was quite rightfully denied! So, not only is the entire team not black, they do wear black and grey so there is no good reason for this... plus no one else gets a nick name why is that fair? England Bulldogs?? Scottish Terriers?? Samoan... Whatevs!

3) The All Blacks do a fine dance at the top of every match. Terribly steeped in tradition, it looked like something out of Stomp The Yard (except for the lack of well, blacks). Good fun though and very intimidating. Found this picture of it on their website... hoping youtube might also shed some light! It is called The Haka.

4) Rugby players are terribly tough and handsome. Not all of them but a few are well easy on the eyes! Of course, I was barely looking, what with Matthew being all I can see and all but if I was looking, I may have noticed All Black back Dan Carter...

And those are my rugby observations for the day. Going to make some dinner down and trick Matt into watching Stomp The Yard now that I have discovered its rugby influences! It might work, but I ain't holding my breath!!

Happy Anniversary to ME!!

Several things, my dears... I am in England right now celebrating the one year anniversary of the madness that is me and Matthew. A whole year of flying back and forth and long distance calls and time differences and somehow managing to stay committed and very much in love! I am so, so blessed. I can't wait until we are both in one place and all this separation energy can be spent on things that count... like whose turn is it to do the dishes!

After whisking me off to Bath for the afternoon, Matt planned a wonderful overnight adventure at a beautiful English countryside manor- Tortworth Court- complete with dinner and breakfast and some amazing... views! As the Manor House was located on a Arboretum (think many trees), I provided him with the view of my getting stuck climbing a tree all in the name of a photo op! Sadly, I have forgotten my USB cord and so cannot upload this fantasticness for all to see but I will... Seriously- I ripped my jeans, bruised my hand and ripped my elbow open on bark. It was an incredible thought from the rose on my pillow to the Under 21 Football team eye candy who took up half the dining room at breakfast so we had to wait to eat... Matt is such a good planner and such an amazing other half! Again- I am so, so blessed.

On Saturday morning- we decided to keep the adventure going by staying steeped in English tradition and going to The Wookey Hole Caves!! (think Howe Cavern but with the word Wookey Hole in the title!!) Located ages off the M5, this place was off da hook, yo! Huge cheesy dinosaurs, a Sea Side Penny Arcade (sea not included), and of course, a witch! Plus, it is called The Wookey Hole. Thanks to Vicky Pollard for not making me be able to think of that as anything but dirrty! It was a real Wookey Wonderland. In one section of the caves, they age cheddar. On the down side- WOW was that section pungent but on the up side- cave aging makes cheese taste DELICIOUS!! On the endless winding road home, we stopped at a farm stand and bought some incredibly yummy berries and a head of cauliflower to make a fantastic cheese bake with our cave cheese. I may get to that tomorrow.... In the meantime- God invented bread for a reason!!

Which brings us to the now. I am awake for no apparent reason but have enjoyed a cup of Horlicks (a delicious chocolate malt beverage to help you sleep) (I can't blame Vicky for giggling at the name of this but, yeah but, no but don't be giving me evils!) and am hoping to return to my bed. But this box of NEW Lindt dark chocolate orange truffles (see how I resisted saying "balls") is calling my name! Unlike the cheese though... I will be bringing some of these back with me! In the meantime... enjoy the views of the Wookey Hole and Tortworth that I stole from their websites... I am going back to bed!

It Is So Ordered!

Now, those of you who watch TV during the day and don't have cable may recognize "it is so ordered" as the battle cry (if you will) of Judge Lynn Toler on Divorce Court (Mon-Fri, 10 & 10:30AM on My9). If you didn't recognize it, maybe you have a job. (I have a job- I just don't start until 2) But worry not, because Judge Toler is getting her own prime time show, Decision House, this fall! Plus, you kids with your newfangled DVRs and such could always record it so your job is no excuse as far as I am concerned!

As it turns out, for so many reasons, I am my father's daughter! I love a good Judge show!! If I had to pick favorites- well, I would include Judge Toler and of course, Judge Alex (tough justice!) and then there's the granddaddy of 'em all- The People's Court, currently presided over by Judge Milian! I literally, have these shows on as background noise all morning! Don't judge me people- it is that or The View! This fall, they removed my dad's favorite Judge... Judge Joe Brown. I can't speak for the whole country, but he will be sorely missed on the NY Metro programming schedule! Judge Joe Brown was the only Judge of color on TV.

I mention that because they have taken him off and replaced him with a very colorful judge indeed. Introducing Judge David Young! "Justice with a Snap!" is his slogan, people! Today he was dealing with a case that involved a pure-bred puppy and he asked the litigant if she was a breeder. When she replied, "I am trying to be" he responded, "I tried to be a breeder, too. Not very hard, of course." (insert canned laughter here) Yesterday, he was asking a defendant if the "prince" he borrowed money from was "the Prince" and went on to ask, "maybe it was a Queen. Did I lend you money?" On the website, I learned that he hails from Miami where he lives with his partner and their dog, Maggie. Sometimes, he sings show tunes. Am I painting a colorful enough picture here?

My problem with him is this... a) I like my Judge shows like I like my men, with a set of balls! Toler, Milian, Alex (who I am sure has a last name) balls! Metaphorically speaking and b) beside myself, my Dad and Diane- I am pretty sure the folks that watch these show are at home, middle America, jobless, individuals. The ads that run during these programs include those for people with "little or no credit", "who can't get a good job because they don't have a degree" and "you bet your sweet Aspercreme". I don't want to paint with too wide a brush here but I am pretty sure these are not the folks who need to see the most stereotypical, homosexual performance since Richard Dreyfuss' in the shit remake of Poseidon. Way too move us forward TV execs!! I suspect that he had to replace Judge Joe Brown because only one "barely believable" Judge can be accepted at a time by their target audience. What a sad commentary about those who are not the perfect picture of acceptable in this country. We can't have a gay judge and a black judge on TV! We can only have one famous fat actress at a time! (for the record- I believe it is currently America Ferrera- a ginormous size 6!!!!) (by no means am I saying that the Emmy winning actress isn't incredibly deserving. I don't watch Ugly Betty but from Real Women Have Curves to Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, she is consistently fantastic but a big girl? Only if you compare her to the de rigeur size 1 petites.)

I gotta go. It is time to change the channel to Christina's Court. She's the softest of the Judge circuit. I don't particularly enjoy her but its that or the news and I prefer my bullshit served up as such instead of sprayed with a burst of Oust like "real"! It is so ordered!

As far as I am concerned...

...this was the best part of the Emmys! I mean they kept honoring these shows that I guess people have heard- the Sopranos and Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee and Entourage... must be on cable! No matter- I love me some Stewie and Brian!

A Tale of Two Feet.

So, today... after many days of feeling downright gross, I decided to dress like a human and get some things done! I wore dress up pants and a grown up necklace and some high heel shoes. I wanted to get some new Prescriptives mascara that claims to be incredibly LOOOONG wearing (made of steel fibers or something) and my old pal Dita at the Bloomingdales' Prescriptives counter managed to sell me that and a-WHOLE-lot more! Thanks, D! Then I picked up Jay and we walked home, stopping here and there, enjoying the sunshine, took Annalee to Modells and then joined the ladies for dinner at the DELISH Aleo restaurant! (I see a birthday party there in the near future...) It was a fine meal with fine company and a funny waiter who bought us an antipasti platter and who doesn't love that! Plus, I am certain it is the last time I will see Jenn Hyjack with baby.com on the inside!

Sounds like a lovely day, yes? NO!!! And here's why.... the aforementioned high heel shoes. They broke me. Like an egg. Or a Ming vase during a stampede. Or Dita. They started to hurt my feet on the way to the subway at the top of the day. Did I go home and change? NO! I assumed that my feet just were overused to flip flops and would adjust. Did they? NO! By Bloomingdales, I was limping. By the time I picked up Jay, I could barely walk. (I made him go to the shoe store where I bought some lovely flats but by then the damage was done) Annalee and I took a cab the 4 blocks to Modells and back. And I took a cab from Ditmars to my apartment. That's an 8 minute walk people. I literally couldn't do it. I had just bought socks at the 24 hour Eckerd that I was prepared to put on and walk home in... sans shoes. And my feet are so friggin' blistered and cut up right now that the pedicure I intended to get tomorrow is OUT! They hurt so much, I may not get a manicure either!

I think the lesson is simply- I am not ready to be a grown up. Or to put away the flip flops. And thus, here is a picture of my feet in happier times because if I took one now... we all would be ill.

All in All, it's just a...

...nother brick in the coolest wall Berlin has to offer!!

(many thanks to Kerry and her pal Sadie who took a pic of this on her travels in Berlin! Kerry promptly sent it to me and so- here we are!!

I lied.

So, Elvis can't be rolling over in his 7-11. Turns out, Elvis Presley Enterprises sold the rights of Viva Las Vegas to its long under-credited writer, Doc Pomus. Now if those Viagra crazies had used an actual Elvis rendition... well, Slurpees would be upended everywhere.

I apologize for my lack of Rights To An Elvis Song knowledge.

PS... Tony Bennett sweeping the Emmys?! Odd.

And is anyone enjoying the cut aways to a light fixture to mask cussing?

What total horse (insert cut away here)!!

Are you shittin' me?

Has the estate of Elvis lost their minds?? Viva Viagra?? Come on! Elvis is rolling over in his 7-11.

A long, long, long Sunday afternoon....

So, although I am feeling better this morning... I still have a slight fever and a huge headache! Thus, driven to my couch and lacking cable- I have turned to my DVD collection for entertainment! And what better entertainment on a Sunday afternoon sick day than Breakin'! (Don't think I won't be watching 2 next! Electric Boogaloo is da'bomb!) And since yesterday I slept for 5 hours with the Theme from Beverly Hills Cop playing in the background (menu screen + Theraflu..), this is definitely a step in the right direction! Plus I saw the South Park- You Got Served episode last night! Inspiring.

Obviously, I was just IMDBing the cast to see "where are they now". Adolfo "Ozone" Quinones is still busy as a choreographer (taking on the, I am sure delightful, Kickin' It Old School), poor Michael "Turbo" Chambers hasn't aged terribly well if the picture of him at the premier of Kickin' It is anything to go by! But here was the most concerning thing... I had no idea that IMDB had a Star Meter!! You have to be a member in order to really undestand the workings of said meter but just to keep everyone updated- Ben "Franco" Lokey is down 18% but Lucinda "Special K" Dickey is up 29% despite having done nothing since 1990 (she was uncredited in an episode of Perry Mason called The Case of the Defiant Daughter)!!! Fascinating! They must employe the same folks who decide what percentage match people are with you on Match.com. Thank goodness Iced T is still working! Now back to the break of my life...

J List... Still Presenting, blah, blah, blah

A very amusing Big Train that I hadn't seen. Of course, this may also be the byproduct of an overexposure to Nannyland.

The J List would like to present...

Big Train! More funny stuff from those clever Brits! (And with the delish Simon Pegg) Many of the sketches are quite off color (including a delightful little sketch about wanking) but this one has the line- "I'm committed to cakes."

Here comes Peter Cottontail...

...of course, Jeff and I have always been stylin' on Easter! You get me, dawgs?

Thank you, Easter Bunny! Bawk, Bawk!

(I assume white shoes were also Included! To match the gloves and purse, of course

and set the precedent for Easters to come!)

No hopping down the Bunny Trail for me today.

Fevers blow. I can feel my will to live slipping away.

(Although that might just be the overexposure to Nannyland.)

There must have been a time when everything was coming up Roses...

(and more!! White shoes included! Like mother, like daughter. )

Ummm, what?

According to The New York Times this morning...

"Bush Says Success Allows Gradual Troop Cuts" adding, "President Bush called for an 'enduring relationship' with Iraq in his speech last night.

Now, I didn't watch the speech. I also don't read the paper everyday but I am pretty sure "success" ain't a word that should be applied anywhere. And what kind of "enduring relationship" would this be like? Ike and Tina's?? Jerkwad.

In the continuing saga...

...of a night that's gone to the roaches...
I can also do the following with iPhoto!
This mac thing kinda rules!!

Thank Goodness for iPhoto Booth!

Otherwise, I would have nothing else to do seeing as though I am awake thanks to the dirty bug sighting. Me. 12:46AM. Thermal Effect.

As If The Lack of Nail Polish Remover Isn't Enough...

ONE more Thing that exists in Nannyland:
8) A HUGE Mother&^%$ing, God*&%$, GI-NORMOUS COCKROACH!! (not collecting dust at all but a tricksy little bastard who just escaped the bottom of a shoe and relocated to Sir's closet! Well, one of them.)

I just want to go home!! How am I supposed to sleep now??? Next to said closet the little shit now calls home is the bedroom that contains the bed in which I am sleeping!!! Sweet Mother of God!! There isn't enough TheraFlu for this in the WORLD! And me with just one hand's worth of nails painted a hideous shade of pink!

How is this possible?

Things that exist in Nannyland:
1. Two XBox 360s
2. Three unused laptops collecting dust
3. One baby grand piano (also collecting dust)
4. Four large brand new flat screen TVs
5. Seven back up reams of paper (gaggles of paper? mustards of paper?)
6. Fifty Five Diet Center frozen meals (collecting not dust, but freezer burn)
7. Eight bottles of Nature's Miracle to remove the urine scent from the carpet when the dog has "an accident" (why train him? there's a bottle in every room)

Things that DO NOT exist in Nannyland:
1. Nail polish remover
2. My sanity

How is that remotely possible?!

I don't feel good.

And all I want to do is snuggle down in my bed and read a bad Nora Roberts book that I have already read (and thus requires less focus) until I fall asleep into a TheraFlu induced coma. But alas... I cannot. Why? Because I am in Nannyland. Two kids and Dad are already in the Hamptons and I am here with the remaining one (and his buddy). They are watching Bill and Ted on the big screen in the formal living room and I am here. Wanting bed. I thought I would be able to make myself feel better if only I had some ice cream and so with a pocket full of Nannyland money (which is like Monopoly money only not as colorful), I called Coldstone. They no longer deliver!! Am I on the Upper East Side or not??? Jay pointed out that we could get a pint delivered from the deli but I don't want that. Chocolate plus peanut butter is what this girl wants! And bed.

Oh, and on a side note- I got gas today in Astoria from my corner Mobile. Apparently they have recently added a full service lane. I don't like full service unless it is statewide like in New Jersey. Already it was 20 cents more a gallon and despite my Monopoly money surplus- I don't feel like a tip is necessary! Which someone should remind the dick at Mobile about. I don't understand the full serve... maybe I am supposed to tip but at 20 cents to the dollar... I would say he is getting a tip built in!! And then he totally creeped me out by leaning in the window of the Lexus to give me my change and staying in... YUCK!!! Yeah, I need my bed.

Who Remembers This???

LOVED IT!!!!

Remember That Time...

...we hung out with Gunter the seal pup?! Good times, K. Good times!

Although not nearly as fun as the time you were the Matador and I was the Russian Guard...

Yeah... he REALLY rules!!

ELI RULES!!!

How cute is this kid?? And he got some good looking grandparents, too!

We got Jungle Fever...

Have we really been looking this good for 11 years, RobbleighD??

People That Make me Glad I am Not Britney....

In addition to the hundreds of certainly perfect bodied folks commenting online from their glass houses... That would be the NY Post.... "Lard and Clear"??? What a bunch of jackasses! Look, the girl screwed up her number. Was it the 4:30AM car ride with Criss Angel and her ever-present lollipop that TMZ reported today? Maybe. Who cares. As a performer (and not like Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View- she is "an artist") you should be professional. Doing a show for 8 people at New York Comedy Club or 7.1 million on MTV.... learn your lines, learn your choreography and leave your friggin' hair alone!! Of course, I fully believe that even if she had nailed her number- the people of the press would still have crucified her.

But I and, I would bet 99% of this nation would give my left arm to have the "fat" body of that hot little mother of two. So, she has a belly!! Who gives a shit. She has two children. She should have a little belly! My God... what are we trying to do to our little girls??!?! (or our grown up girls... Goose and tonic? Yes, please. A double.) Now, as a performer who has performed in less than what she was wearing, one might add that she could have come up with a different wardrobe choice if she was worried about her lack of six pack (like the one she had before she gave birth). But whether she wasn't worried because of the spell Criss put on her or she thought she looked good... I say YOU GO, GURL!! (and I do not say that nearly enough!) Seriously, people... my left arm!

People that make me glad I no longer wait tables!

Sweet, Jesus... I don't even know where to begin with this woman! Thank you, Shari Alyse for putting it on your MySpace... Honestly, Wow. This one is rated R folks... so not for the kiddos!

Who IS that masked woman?!

Once Upon A Time in Tijuana

So, long ago (galaxy- far, far)- we went to Tijuana. Drove down from LA. Sadly, I had contracted some insane bout of food poisoning and was vomiting the whole morning. That's right- I had stomach issues BEFORE going into Mexico para el primo tiempo! And so, by the time we got there, I was totally channeling my Dad ("dirty, filled with 'cans, want to leave NOW") but luckily, we had the opportunity to take a picture with a zebra stripe painted donkey. Everyone said they would look miserable with me and we all tried not to think about where those sombreros had been! OLE!

Happy First Week of School!

So, my kiddos start school this week. Two today and one tomorrow. I know they are not alone and that kids all over the world are crying in their proverbial beers as they get handed assignments and essays and quizzes and Presidential Physical Fitness Test schedules. (Do they still do that? God, I hated those... I just wanted to turn to Mr. Overend and shout,

"you run a 6 minute mile, you big fatso!" I'm over it, I swear.)

Anyway, in solidarity, and because September always feels like the real New Year to me (I bought myself new folders and notebooks at Target, too), I feel like it is time for evaluation.... And thus, Peeps... I give you an assignment. I would like a short essay from all of you, entitled:

What I Did This Summer

by: ________________________

(your name there)

Feel free to post it as a comment or email it to me if you like but as I have always believed that New Year provides the perfect opportunity to make resolutions that can be broken, September brings a fresh start. A clean piece of loose leaf upon which to begin anew. Remember your first day of high school- as stressful as it was (and no matter how it turned out), it was time to reinvent yourself. Who were you going to be this year? What adventures were going to come along? And all the requisite whinging for time that had already gone by....

God, now I need new pencils, too.

And so, to get the ball rolling, as any good teacher should- I offer up my own assignment.

I can't wait to read yours!

What I Did This Summer

by: Ms. Wehrung

This summer, I discovered a lot of things. I discovered that I can in fact love myself while questionably clad in front of a crowd of people and have a blast doing it. The music was loud enough and the people fun enough and I silenced the critic long enough to remember exactly why I have always wanted to perform. I also found that the difference between 2 and a half inch heels and three inch heels is much bigger than it seems.

I also discovered how to put myself first. And how not easy that is. When you have ignored it for as long as I have, I found that the voice that answers "what do I want to do today?" in my head has become quite hoarse. But as I have been quite challenged of late to follow my own head and heart regardless who disagrees, I have had to ask myself that question more and more and the voice has regained its former strength.

I discovered that I really want work to be work. I don't want it to cost me every ounce of strength and that that doesn't benefit anyone. I want to continue to make strides toward saving my strength for me. I have rekindled my love affair with taking pictures. I have rekindled my love affair with breathing- not for life but for soul. I managed to buy a cell phone with minimal input, and a new camera, and fight ConEdison and win.

I started a blog, that I love writing. I have introduced people to Eddie Izzard and that is always a gift. I learned that a group of peafowl is called a muster. I have also logged more air miles since January than I have in my whole life!

Finally, I have taken a giant leap of faith and allowed myself to be solidly caught by the best man I have ever met. I have stopped questioning why he is here and began to enjoy it. Maybe not every day but most days and for me that is my greatest accomplishment of the summer.

So good, it is almost a sin!

Back in '62, Hanna made the best grilled cheese ever. There were many kinds of cheeses involved and some fancy bread (and of course great friends at a little table in Long Island City). Since then, I have had many a grilled cheese. None have come close. The closest ever was cooked by Nannyland's Vermont babysitter, Patty. But I am sure she had made the cheese, the butter and the bread from her own fresh Vermont dairy cow. Still Hanna's wins, hands down. HOWEVER... Last night, Kerry and I went to Astoria's newest yummy place- Sparrow. Located in the shade of the Beer Garden- Sparrow is FANTASTIC! Heavy handed bartenders (and boy, did we need it), a unique menu (that included something called "speck"- our waitress/bartender described it as "the bastard child of prosciutto and bacon". We didn't try it but that is a fine description!), and the finest grilled cheese I have tasted since Hanna put down her spatula that cold winter night!!! (It may well have been a hot summer evening... I am seasonally challenged) They appeared to have used that creamy herbed cheese as well as other cheeses too!! And the bacon.... just the bastard child of some heavenly pigs! DELISH!!

Now if you really want to make an evening of it... truck on over to Martha's Country Bakery and get some cupcakes!! All in all- Kerry and I felt much better for our evening of deliciousness!

See, Astoria is well worth the trip!

Sparrow- www.queenssparrow.com

Martha's Country Bakery- has no website but is located on 37th and Ditmars!

(BTW- how creepy is the kid in that picture? She doesn't just love grilled cheese, she LOVES grilled cheese!

What would she give for a basket of kisses, I wonder...)

Built in '64!

It looks just as good today! Good for you, Globe-y!!

Labor Day Tennis!

A lovely day was had by all at the US Open today! We watched Andy Roddick play a couple of sets against some guy with a name that I don't recall. But that guy felt ill and forfeit the match and thus Rod advanced. Then we saw the Battle of the Century between James Blake and Tim Haas. In the end, Haas won but only after it went the full distance, then overtime, then challenges.... The last half hour was VERY exciting!! I felt like Frank at the final football game in Wildcats. "DEfense! DEfense! DEfense!" Good stuff! The mango mojitos were nice, Devonne's Mom had fun and Jim and I made friends! And thank God, DD knew her way around because we got free stuff and pictures and I got a hat! Thanks for the tix, Devonne! YAHOOOO!

(I know they look kinda small but thee pics are of Roddick and Blake.... )

Was "LaborERS Day" never considered?

Labor Day has been celebrated on the first Monday in September in the United States since the 1880s. The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take were outlined in the first proposal of the holiday — a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.

As for me, I will be at the US Open. As is traditional... I need a break from all the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement I spent studying yesterday for Labor Sunday. What did I learn, Peeps.... well, world wide, Labor Day is celebrated on May 1st. A date that began in the US in the late 1870s when folks joined together to protest the 10 hour work day inspiring a swift and violent response from the government to shut them up! A was the norm, people were beaten and hanged for their silly fairness notions and to keep the whole violent nature of the governmental response hush-hush, the US Gov't decided to allow parades and such in September because by September, all that May Day violence would be forgotten!

Ironically, “May Day”, founded by U.S. workers, was taken away from them as a day to celebrate by a federal government fearful of the wave of large demonstrations for the eight-hour day and massive strikes for justice on the railroads, in the mines and factories that had begun in1877. Such an action may seem quaint now.

But the symbolism of May Day—working people challenging corporate power—

still causes fear among the top elite.
Just ask George W. Bush and the Republican extremists in Congress.
In 2003, Bush proclaimed May 1 as Loyalty Day... " when U.S. citizens should
express allegiance to our nation and its founding ideals, we resolve to ensure that the blessings of liberty endure and extend for generations to come."

Wiki-Wehrung strikes again! (not like the laborers did... I don't even work 8 hour days. I like the extremes of 3 or 24 hour days! Holy Bill Joel! Why do I always go to extremes?)

Anyway... Happy, Happy!

Things that Irritate me Today. by: Jennifer W.

1. Tide-To-Go. Why? Because, I got some iced coffee on my new white tank top and thought, "Tide-To-Go will take care of that". Turns out, Tide-To-Go goes off. The stain is gone but the shirt smells like I vomited on it. And thus, Tide-To-Go goes in the bin. Should cleaning solutions start to smell bad?? And now I look like the weird-o changing her clothes whilst doing laundry. Irritated.

2. Paypal. Why? Because I won some things on eBay that I bid on in an insomniac driven bidding frenzy. I haven't played on eBay in years and thus haven't used Paypal in years. Forgotten my password, you see. The only way to verify I am who I am, however is to confirm the last four digits of the credit card number I opened the account with OVER 8 YEARS AGO!!! That credit card sadly, is long gone. One hour with customer service later, I HATE THEM!! Summarily unhelpful, barely spoke English, manager was slightly more retarded than original service agent. Now I need to send checks and thus delay the receiving of my new Gnome T-shirt and rhino salt and pepper shakers. This is bullshit. Irritated.

3. The Curve of the Planet. Why? Because Matt is far away and in another time zone and the nights seem so empty. Remember when the planet was thought to be flat? Before time zones were invented? Those were good times. Irritated.

4. Pottery Barn Baby personalizing department. Why? Because I am trying to buy a gift and want it to be personalized in lower case but turns out, PB only does it in garamund with the first letter capitalized. How can I have no control over what I want to pay $7 extra for? Bastards. Irritated.

5. Laundry. Why? No real reason. I just hate doing it. Why can't sprites come and do it for me? Irritated.

Sure... The day I DON'T go to Rockaway Beach!

Ok, truth be told, I never go to Rockaway Beach. That's why God made the Hamptons. (How "posh" is that statement?) Anyway, a shark was seen swimming yesterday towards the shore, no less! And then today was found dead on the sands. My heart goes out to the shark's family.

Then again, if the sharks can't live in the water off the coast of Queens, why should we swim in it?? That shark beached itself rather than stay there!! I did go to Rockaway Beach once (almost 10 years ago now) and after tiptoe-ing around used diapers and chicken wing bones- we called it a day! Clearly though, Dot has other questions as to the what the hells of it all..... "A tornado hit Brooklyn, there's floods in Queens, and now all of a sudden there's sharks in Rockaway. It's very odd," said beachgoer Dot Di Lorenzos! It was a thresher shark, by the way. They are terribly passive. You know, if any shark truly is passive.

Sunflower Alien!

This is one of the sunflowers growing in my Mother's garden! Obviously, it is a toddler one but I like to think it looks like an alien! Do you?

Hershey!

He really is the craziest pup! But I love him! And he loves me!