I got my results today from my Mono test. It says negative. You would think that would make me happy, yes?! Instead it scares the shit out of me because if it isn't mono than what the hell is wrong with me?? I am not a hypochondriac. I do not routinely go to the doctor. I usually wait until I am coughing up blood or the pirates arrive to induct me into the Scurvy Club! And I know what it is to be over-worked and over-stressed and over-tired and Lord knows, I could be.
But this is different. I know its different.
So, I freaked out and called Dr. Eunice. Crying and freaking, she managed to talk me down. And was able to echo a few things my doctor said that I had stopped really listening to after she said "negative". One is that the mono test I was given has more false positives than actual positives. A's test took 3 days for results, mine came in overnight. the theory being that I haven't had it long enough. It takes two to three weeks before the virus shows up. There is more than one type of mono and we only tested for one. Even if it is mono, they can't do anything for it so... The consensus being that I should operate "as if" I have mono
but need to wait until Monday to know for sure.
I don't operate "as if", people!! I remember, 100 years ago, having a conversation with Caprice and Elizabeth and Hyjack was there and maybe Eileen about acting "as if". (I believe Caprice was trying to sell me some line about boys liking a woman who acts as if she is likable regardless how she feels about herself! I didn't believe that nonsense then and I certainly don't now!) (It's not you, it's me, Caprice!) As if! As if, my ass! I want to know what's wrong with me. I don't care what my test said, I have read the symptoms online, I have spoken to A (who has been diagnosed) and so... that's that. I am going to act "as if" modern medicine don't know jack!
Now, I need a nap damn it.
Stupid Mono.
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