That's right...

I am only sad that I couldn't make the picture bigger! Feel free to head to uncommongoods.com (a favorite place of mine to get fun gifts) and check them out! I certainly hate to give away a good shopping site, but these little plush buddies are well worth it!

These stuffed toys absolutely reek of fun. Yes, they are exactly what you think: cuddly representations of pee and poo. But potty humor aside, these cute Pee and Poo dolls can be used for educating your child about the body. Their friendly personalities and plush exterior will help your child be more comfortable with the potty training experience. Made in China. Sold as a set.
$38.00

I didn't see it because Heigl bugs me!

Could I be talking about Grey's? Or even Knocked Up? Nope... because I saw Knocked Up and that solidified my intense disinterest in Kathryn Heigl. I just find her annoying. Not her characters but HER. I have never watched the Grey's so I am basing this on interviews and shit in which she annoys me more every time. I thought she was the weakest part of Knocked Up and thus... I never saw 27 Dresses. I liked the idea of it but really?? She's a bridesmaid 27 times?? WHATEV!! But my issue tonight is with its writer- Aline Brosh McKenna.

Why?? Well, because my Sis just saw it and texted me to tell me that at the end... she copies me!! I have been saying for years that when and if I get married, I would be issuing my bridesmaids dresses to their respective brides! And they had to wear them! Not as bridesmaids necessarily... just as guests! I will have bouncers instead of ushers. It will be a rule! The ONLY exemption will be my Aunt Marian. I was in her wedding as a child. That would be ridiculously unfair. She may have to wear the colors though... bring on her finest yellow and brown dress! 27 Dresses apparently ends with her having 27 bridesmaids who have to wear the dress they made her wear! Big Copy Cat!! So beware and be warned... it was MY idea first, Ladies!!! So be ready to rock the big purple number or the black velvet sheath or the black and white bow bedazzler or the emerald strappy wonder.... well, you get the idea! Fair is fair!

And whilst Auntie Jenn was in the Bahamas....

...Eli turned 2!! (And Jeff turned... well, not 2!)
But Nona and Grandpa Don were there and it looks like fun was had by all!

Wish I had been there to celebrate!!

And on the last day...

...we went to the One and Only Ocean Club. The place where they filmed Casino Royale! So- everyone close your eyes and picture Daniel Craig in a speedo! Delish!

And, of course, the kids and I took the opportunity to pose ever so respectfully in the gazebo!

The sky's the limit!

And it sure is purty....

This is my new friend, Jackie!

She just had a baby a bit ago... a super cute tiny dolphin who shadowed her every move called Bimini! But she took time from her busy Mom duties to pose!

Tonight, Atlantis is $50 richer!

And, so... A. decided her room was too noisy tonight (ie: I wouldn't let her sleep in with me so she went to sleep with Mom! See ya!) and I took advantage of the time alone to hit the Casino! Having hit casinos in Vegas, AC, Mohegan Sun, Turning Stone and various others (thanks in large part to Jason!)- I found the Casino here at Atlantis to be a bit lame-o! Kerry and I would not be stumbling sleeplessly around this place whilst Jason hit one more machine!

I walked the whole of it in 2 minutes and it was mainly tables and the old fashioned slots... not a bell or whistle in sight! And me with a red hot Nannyland fifty in my pocket! And just as I was feeling O L D (the "teen club" had just let out and I was not at it, people!), F A T (did I mention the teen club?? All of them, dressed like whores and weighing in at 100lbs and tan), and S A D (that had nothing to do with the teen club but because of the old, drunk man who wanted to chat me up)... there it was, glowing in the distance like a beacon... the GOLDFISH game!! OOOOHHH, I love it! Bells and whistles and kissing fish and scatter spins and naughty turtles and crabbies in a row!! And my $50 became $125 and I was dancing and talking to the fish like a crazy person and an hour later, my $125 had become well, $0 but I was a happier girl... Ready for a Baileys and bed!

Until tomorrow night, of course....

So, if I can put it on the room charge...

Should I go for the one with the helicopter or the jet skis??
The Marina. Atlantis, Bahamas

Thank You Easter Bunny... Bawk, Bawk!

I hope everyone found the most eggs in their hunt, got only solid chocolate bunnies, felt the blessings that Easter truly brings, and was not forced to look upon crazy ugly fish!

Ahhh, Easter in the Bahamas... it sure is different!

Color Me CSI: Bug

It is an evening full of mysteries here at the Big Fat Greek Apartment!

Mystery 1- My job. Why is it so ridiculous?

Mystery 2- Where are my Eddie Izzard DVDs?

Mystery 3- What is this bug that I have sighted several of in my bathroom?

Now, my job is ridiculous because it gives me good stories to tell full of thwarted trips and newly emerging sexuality and running away and a level of retardness unmatched anywhere else.

Sadly, I have no idea where my Eddie DVDs are. I have a vague memory of lending both Definite Article and Glorious to someone but I cannot recall who... if it is you, please do let me know! My 11 year old shares the same love of Eddie that I do (actually, he just loves most things I tell him to but the Eddie is in extreme good taste) and we were going to watch several hours of His Greatness tomorrow but alas we shall only watch one as I can only find Dress To Kill. (Again, if you know the whereabouts of my DVDs, please tell me before I put a picture of them on a milk carton!)

But the solved mystery is What's That Bug?! It is a bug "that is not common a pest but can become numerous in certain situations. They are general scavengers and can be found in pan­tries, museums, grain mills, warehouses, and attics". (at least according to the real source of info and itchiness- whatsthatbug.com) I, of course, have them in my bathroom! Ridiculous. My bathroom is akin to a museum apparently. They are very tiny bugs and kinda look like big fleas! (jumbo shrimp?) They don't bite or seem to be en masse (knock on wood),

they were just a mystery to be solved!

Ladies and Gentlemen....

I give you, the frequenter of grain mills across the country and my bathroom....

The Spider Beetle!

PS... this picture is so magnified that even I am slightly alarmed and I have seen them up close. I had no idea they had such crazy lobster legs! Seriously, they are like a moving dot. A dot made with a Sharpie though, not a pen! They should have given it a crown and a playground and then it could be like the Sea Monkey of my grain filled museum-esque bathroom of canned goods and pantry items. That is how ridiculous this picture is. Maybe God uses the same camera for Nannyland? Ohhh, another mystery!

I was going to have one....

...but my teeth hurt just thinking about it!!

Happy Birthday, Jenny Eclair!

Who is Jenny Eclair?
Well, she is a fantastically funny British comedienne who celebrates her birthday today!
Why do I care?
Because in 1996, one year after being the first (and only, so far) female winner of the Perrier Award (given to the Best in Show at Edinburgh Fringe Fest) Jenny Eclair brought her child to classes at Crechendo. I taught classes at Crechendo and week after week entertained Jenny's kid! Since then, Jenny has performed on the West End, earned countless TV and radio credits, wrote two acclaimed novels and continued on her very funny journey through life.
But her greatest accomplishment (you know, if you ask me) was to encourage ME to try stand up! She said, "You're funny". I said, "Who are you?".She said, "Go do this workshop with my mate and 6 award winning male comics with 6 to 10 years experience, try not to be way out of your depths and then 5 to 6 years after you return to America- you may be almost ready to try stand up again! It'll be fun! Off you go!" And thus, there I was and now here I am! Happy Birthday, Jenny. And thanks! (from me and my tens of fans!)

Long Live Longleat!!

Here I sit, in Matt's front room, with a cup of tea on a rainy Sunday morning!

Sounds lovely, doesn't it?

And it would be if it weren't for the ridiculous stomach ache I have!

I assume it developed after the fish and chips I had for dinner...

Fingers crossed that it is excess and not bad fish that's the problem!

Thankfully, it didn't develop until after our day at Longleat!

What is a Longleat, you ask?? It is fine and fascinating place, I reply.

Longleat is a stately home completed in 1580

(but bought for £53 in 1541 by 25 year old, John Thynne)

and currently resided in by the 7th Marquess of Bath and his Californian wife!

And because the heating of this place must be a real bitch-

they have opened parts of it to the public! They have literally pimped out their home!

And they dolled her up nice...

fishnets, blood red nails, Italian inspired ceilings from the 1800s-

you know, the usual!

The house comes complete with gift shops (that sell snazzy hats for rainy days)

and wax figures in faux kitchens and a serious

"keep your friggin' hands behind the velvet rope" alarm system!

It also has an animal themed Pet Town, an indoor Butterfly Garden, a Maze,

a Train Ride and delicious jacket potatoes at the cafe!

But the real attraction ain't the house (or it's side shows), people...

It is the drive thru safari that is attached to it!

Apparently, some Earl or Duke of Earl or Randolph Duke decided to

bring in the animals that inspired him when he spent time in Africa!

The BBC tagged in and now produces a wildlife show of some sort from there

that I have never seen...

They produced a lovely and informative CD

for you to listen to as you drive though, so that was nice!

The warnings for the Monkey enclosure were so dire that Matt decided to avoid it...

which led to some name calling and frustration!

(Frustration not an issue for the ostriches we saw doing it!

And now I can say I know how well hung an Ostrich is!)

But we did get to feed the Royal Deers (tuppence a bag!) and that was good!

So, despite the never ending rain

and the slightly different approach to a drive thru safari...

("I know it says 'keep windows closed', Matt- but I am trying to get a better picture of that tiger!!")

...here are some shots from our day at Longleat!!

Guess what my favorite part was???

YAHOOOOO!!!

And a fine howdy do from Heathrow!

Morning All.... And so after a very successful fight and a retarded discussion with the immigration guy, I now have two hours to kill at Heathrow before getting on the coach to go to Matt's!! BORED! Thankfully, I passed on breakfast in the plane so I could eat... Thank God for public internet stations!

So, listen... in case you haven't already- run, don't walk to your nearest Netflix web page and add Air Guitar Nation to your queue!! I watched it on the plane and LOVED it!!! I pictured Ted thru most of the film but wow... these people take their "airness" seriously!! Here is C. Diddy and Bjorn Tuerock (does anyone know how to omelot?) (I am not even sure I spelled it correctly!)- the stars of this fine, fine documentary!! SEMI-SPOILER ALERT... one of these two men is crowned World Champion 2003!!

(Also watched the end of Elizabeth: The Golden Age- a movie as long as her reign! And 30 Days of Night which wasn't horrible...)

Only a hundred million hours to go! Airports are fun!

Chinchillas Eat What?

Abby Knows!!

Really, Croc People...

REALLY?

Happy Spring Ahead!

Must Be 21 To See This Pic of...

The Peep Show!!
(Oh Annie... you always know what wets my whistle!)

What Celebrities Would Look Like if They Moved!

My peep Devon sent this email! And I opened it because I know she hates Fwds as much as I do! And as usual with Devon's Fwds... I am so happy I did!! And I know you be, too!!

It is like I said many moons ago whilst sketching with The Skirts-

if you want to lose weight, don't diet... MOVE!!

I think this email said they were in Ohio but I like to believe that this is

Michael, CZJ, J-Lo, Rat Face and Jen

at the Great Northern Mall in Clay, NY!

A Host By Any Other Name...

Kerry made it make sense that Elizabeth Berkley would host a reality dance show as she was the star of the dance classic- Showgirls. But I am still confused. Why is Ian Ziering hosting a dance show? Your Mama Can't Dance is Lifetime's newest competitor in the dance stakes and I guess Ian has a Mama?? I must admit that most confusing to me is the Dawg's choice of Mario Lopez as the host of America's Best Dance Crew. Really?? I guess if J.C. Chasez can judge....

I guess I am just biased because my girlfriend... Heidi Klum, is the perfect host of Project Runway.

Monday, Monday!

What a delight to spend my whole day Monday with Abby (2 years) and Will (2 months)!! I was thrilled to be invited to lend a hand by Hanna (who, much like myself, does not list an age anymore) and gained a billion times more than I gave!

I Heart all Three of Them!!

Oh, Eddie....

...why are you so *&^%$ funny?!

(at the Union Square Theatre- Feb. '08)