Photo Shoot + Mapquest =

1. Start out going NORTHEAST go 0.0 mi 2. Turn RIGHT go 0.0 mi 3. Turn RIGHT go 0.1 mi 4. Merge onto I-278 E (Portions toll). go 2.5 mi 5. Merge onto I-87 N / MAJOR DEEGAN EXPY viaEXIT 47 on the LEFT toward ALBANY. go 3.1 mi 6. Take the I-95 / US-1 / CROSS BRONX EXPWYexit, EXIT 7N-S, toward NEW HAVEN / TRENTON. go 0.2 mi 7. Merge onto I-95 S / US-1 S / CROSS BRONX EXPY via EXIT 7S on the LEFT toward G WASHINGTON BR / TRENTON. go 0.5 mi Do a LOT of driving.... ...and then.... 19. Turn LEFT onto US-30 / BUTTON BRIDGE RD /MT HOOD HWY. go 0.1 mi 20. Turn RIGHT onto US-30 / OR-35 / BUTTON BRIDGE RD / MT HOOD HWY. go 0.0 mi 21. Stay STRAIGHT to go onto US-30 / OR-35 /BUTTON BRIDGE RD / MT HOOD HWY. Continue to follow OR-35. go 38.6 mi 22. Merge onto US-26 W / MT HOOD HWY towardPORTLAND. go 15.3 mi 23. Turn LEFT go 0.1 mi 24. WELCHES!! go 0.0 mi

2 cents, Please!

So, awhile back, I got this thought... I really wanna see my niece and nephew (and my bro & sis-in-law, of course)! This is not a new thought- nary a day goes by that I don't wish I could see them! But I have this furry ball and chain so travel has been a solid no since she arrived. Sure, we go to the Hamptons and have even driven upstate to see Nona, Grandpa and Uncle Hershey but to visit Jeff & co? In Oregon? Yeah. No. Ripley is too big to fly in the cabin with me and I hate the idea of her being in with the luggage for 6 hours. A private plane is a little too expensive for me. I could leave her with someone or at a kennel but I gots a bee in my bonnet, see.... I really want Ripley to meet Eli & Athea. And I kinda hate the thought of her being away from me and I am sick of work soooo....

What do you all think of a cross country road trip?! Me & Rip- on the road again!! Before you vote- know that I would take 3 weeks to do it. It wouldn't be a race. In fact- I have plenty of peeps to stop in and see along the way! Plus, there are Giant Balls of String and Biggest Hunks of Cheese just waiting for us!!! I would rent a car, of course and bring a map. And snacks. I would bring lots of snacks!

Well- what do you think? Totally nuts or hells yeah?!

Since Two Can Anne's Cam Crapped The Bed....

Hugs & Kisses from Las Vegas! :)

Look What Robb Made!! He's Like A Chocolate Spielberg!

An Open Letter of Apology.

dEaR uNCle HErsHeY,

MamA iS a LaUNdRY mOrON. sHe wAshED yOuR piLLow wItH mY rEd BeD cOvER. NoW, It is PInK. We OWe YoU a ShEeT.

lOvE, rIplEy

My Ma Grew A Zucchini!

And I made a cake!! YUM!

That zucchini is not the one my Ma grew because the one she grew is IN the cake!! It was delicious!

Recipe? Here it is!

This is Ripley's Bush.

Many a post have documented the time Ripley's spends in her bush. But the winds of change have been a-blowin' at the BFG apartment. Though she still brings various toys and sticks and broom heads to her bush, she doesn't spend as much time in it. Sure, it is the bush she knows. Sure, when Dexter is over and she feels threatened by him and their crazy play- she takes to it. Sure, she will always love it. But these days, she often lays in other shady, bushy places. And I have noticed that her bush is starting to smell. Maybe I should rephrase that?! The point is... it's time to set the bush free. Plant something else there! It is a nice, shady spot and some other lucky plant will become Ripley's new favorite place to hang!

As I am starting to realize, Ripley is a good example setter. And though if she could talk, she may raise some objections to the uprooting of the bush, she would know it was for her own good. Ahhh, my little lesson giver. I, too, need to trim "my bush". (Sorry, I couldn't resist!) Although in my case- I need to trim Nannyland. It has been an insane week (well, year, really)- high school friends in town, getting caught up in a police take down of a bad guy (one minute I was texting, the next minute I was staring down the barrel of several guns and being shoved into a store) (scariest NYC moment in my almost 14 years of being here), realizing I am S I C K of being the easiest target when the adults in Nannyland are frustrated with the whole "parenting thing", and most importantly- feeling like I need to shake it up a bit. Try out a new bush, if you will. Of course, someone needs to pay for all the new plants we will need so I can't just uproot but I certainly can cut back. Refocus. Make better, bolder, more fulfilling choices.

I have never been one to wait for the bestest moment for things- sometimes I wait WAY too long and other times, I just rip that Band-Aid off because I know I have healed. Ripley knows her bush is gross and she seems to be enjoying flattening other bushes- testing them, rolling in them, making them hers. She is (mostly) ready to let go. And I think... me, too.

Not Sure About the Go Girl...

How do you feel about the Shee Wee??? It's Britain's alternative to the Go Girl!

www.shewee.com

We are confident that you’ll find it easy to Shewee, even liberating, but here are some instructions for you in case you aren’t sure.... 1. Undo trousers 2. Push underwear to one side 3. Place Shewee gently against the body with the outlet pipe directed away from you 4. Aim urine to a suitable place – away from feet, into a toilet or a container 5. When finished, pull the Shewee away and wipe (liquid repellent surface ensures no drips) 6. Place your reusable Shewee back into a bag or resealable container

Tip! Practice with Shewee in the shower to find the best position for you.

Shewee is washable by hand or machine and can withstand temperatures up to 120˚C

Urine is sterile on leaving the body.

We doubt you will need it, but for a more detailed tip....

Make sure the Shewee is held in the correct position by not pushing the Shewee tightly against the body. Hold the Shewee with almost 1mm between it and the labia majora, the 'pointy end' can be firmly against your perenium, but a little gap at the front will ensure that your body does not ‘fill’ the Shewee – therefore allowing you to be able to see the urine going into the funnel and leaving more room for the urine to pass freely. The Shewee should be held outside the body at all times. If in doubt, hold your Shewee under a fully flowing tap and see that it will not 'fill up', 'back up' or 'overflow' when you have the angle correct.

SIS- I expect a report on it's functionality! Maybe we can make a million bringing it stateside??

Watched Toast Never... Toasts!

Williams Sonoma is offering this toaster with a window so you can watch "the toasting process in action".

If you have the time and inclination to watch bread toast, I have water you can watch boil!

This show will cost you $249.95

Look What Two Can Anne & I Made!

OK... Sure, the baby far outshines the bib but together they are so sweet you need a salt lick!

Teddy Bear Sunflowers?! STOP IT!!

How awesome are these?!?!

I picked up a bunch in the Hamptons because my Mom loves sunflowers! (I got her some glorious huge traditional ones, too...) I saw these while I was driving past the fruit & veg stand and couldn't wait to stop and get them! And now, I can't wait to plant them!!!

They're Here!!!

Last weekend the 'rents & Hersh came to town! They got stuck in some gnarly traffic on the way but within moments of arrival.... we were so Happy Together!* (cue The Turtles)

*2 extra hours in the car meant booze helped more than The Turtles :)

Ripley Hits The Beach!

Sag Harbor, NY

Just Can't Stop Singing It...

and the fact that it is oh, so fitting today is well- oh, so apt!

Where Else Would You Get Your Watermelons?

roadside. college point, queens

Cue the Dreamweaver...

...I believe you can get me through the niiiight....

Things You Never Knew You Wanted: Problem Solver Edition

GoGirl™
No bathroom? Dirty bathroom? No problem!

Never sit on or crouch over a dirty toilet seat again! Neat and discreet GoGirl is a female urination device that is great for travelers, hikers, campers, skiers, joggers, or any woman who wants the convenience of a toilet without actually having to sit on one!

ONLY $9.95

Hold the Butter, Bitch.

Huh.

Cleaning Lady Jackie* enters**.

CLJ: I did some math and I have lost more weight then I weigh.

Me: Wow! That's great- I have not.

CLJ: I have a new younger man now.

Me: Wow! That's great? I do not.

CLJ: He has a real hair fetish.

Me: Wow! That's gre... what?

CLJ: Yeah. He wants me to Bic.

Me: What is your name again?

CLJ: He keeps telling me 'I'm flossing down here'.

Me: No seriously, what is your name?

CLJ: He shaves his whole body. Is it going to rain today?

Me: Don't you have laundry to do?

CLJ: You guys ever go to Splish Splash? I got season passes if you wanna go.

CLJ exits.

*Cleaning Lady Jackie is not her real name. I am not protecting the innocent here. She is new and I don't know her name. But I do know she needs to shave her vagina.

**Ripley and I were hiding in the guest wing to avoid the cleaning ladies. CLJ sought us out there to share these things.

ps... Splish Splash is a water park here in the Hamptons.