LOOK WHAT I GOT?!

and this is the very first picture I took with it!!

I have wanted a digital SLR forEVER and I am so excited to finally have one!

Granted, I don't know how to work it but I will!

We Have Reached A New Low.

Things I Like: 4 U & Me!!

Aren't these prints sweet and charming?

Like U & Me!

Find 'em

HERE!

TURKEY TIME!

Sure, we had a great turkey this year! Plainville Farms, apple stuffed, and one clearly interested puppy!

But this was not the star Turkey... I have lived in Astoria for many moons and every year, I walk past Rose & Joe's Bakery and spy their Turkey Breads in the window! I ALWAYS want one and this year... Thanksgiving dreams came true!!! Sure, it looks more like a dinosaur but hey- it was DELISH!!

delish and HUGE!!

mmmmm, bread!

Everywhere I Looked...

...there were things to be thankful for!

Booze with the 'rents!

3 Pice Cereal Sets!

(I assume someone was thankful for this before it broke and they threw it streetside!)

Mmmm, PIE!

And while they keep lookin'... I just know I am thankful for so much!

Happy Turkey Day All!!

You Jack Wagons!!

Soon- Annie Mosher

Ohhhh, my Annie makes pretty music. It's noiiice!!!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Hershey!!!

In honor of your birthday- while you waited patiently (and prettily) for squirrels...

Ripley hunted you up a present! Wanting to be just like her huntin' Uncle!

Hope you like lawn flamingo!! We will have it trussed and waiting!!

xoxoxoxo

we love you!!!

I Heart Brussel Sprouts!!

This weekend I got me a stalk o' sprouts! And then I cooked 'em. And then we ate 'em.

This is how!

First, I introduced Ripley to the Sprouts Brussel. She was not impressed.

Then, I cut them off said stalk and sliced 'em up! I sauteed them in some olive oil with a lil' salt and pepper! Oh, and while that was happening- I dry roasted some pine nuts!

Finally, I put them in a bowl with the pine nuts and some parmesan shavings and a splash of red wine vinegar!

And then... we ate 'em!!! Delish!

ps... by "we" I mean me & A! Ripley just wanted the cheese!

I Would Shoot The Band, Myself!

Bristol Palin on 'Dancing with the Stars' angers Wisconsin man Steven Cowan, takes gun to television

(click on the text for the article... if you care!)

RIPLEY IS 1!!! (or 7, if you are counting in human years!)

On Sunday, I got an email from Ripley's vet (automatically sent, of course) to say Happy Birthday to her and give me some tips on how to handle a one year old dog! I FREAKED! I was in the Hamptons, you see- far, far away from any documentation of Ripley's whelping and I thought her birthday was next week! I called the Vet Hospital (which is open and expensive 24/7) to confirm and they had her birthday down as next month! I knew that was wrong!

Annalee and I decided that the only way to proceed was to have a cupcake (and a photo shoot) immediately! I never say no to a cupcake and it turns out... neither does Ripley! Also turns out- her birthday (or Whelp Day) is TODAY! I had it wrong in my head but I didn't miss it and that is all that matters!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BEAUTIFUL PUP!!

Where DO Puppies Come From?

This morning, Ripley and I saw a pregnant lady in the park with her dog.

"Did I come from your belly, Mom?" asked Ripley on our way home. "Oh, Ripley", I replied, "you came from Virginia!" Obviously, she had some questions and so I told her all about

Where Puppies Come From!

I explained that she came from a tiny town called Berryville, Virginia and that I went there to pick her up with her Auntie Anne. And how we met her and snuggled her and then had lunch in the sweet town formed by Benjamin Berry in 1798...

"Fascinating. but... Do all puppies come from Virginia?" she asked. "Oh, Ripley", I chuckled, "puppies come from all sorts of places! You know Charlie- your Burnese Mountain Dog friend? He comes from a Mountain. And Garp- comes from a World that is all according to him!"

I was prepared for this talk- though maybe not so soon (my girl is growing up!)- and had ordered just the thing to help explain! Luckily, I get every catalog known to man or I would have had a much harder time!

See, there's this catalog that has a toy that explains all about where puppies come from and I had ordered the whole set just for this very day! They are faithfully created stuffed dogs (or teaching tools as I like to call them) that come with a native outfit, home and bowl of treats! Just like in real life! Think how much harder it would be to get kids to learn about "different" without those life like dolls and accessories they use! Anyway- as you can see from the triptych below, Ripley quickly learned that her Northern brethren prefer whole fish for dinner whereas the Boston Terrier eats either elongated baked beans or maybe, wieners BUT they get hats!

"Have you ever been to New Found Land, Mom?" asked Ripley. "Oh, Ripley", I admonished. "No one goes there. Hell, I am not even sure where it is."

"But I have been to Mexico and I met some Mexican dogs when I had to throw up road side in Carmelita due to the food poisoning I got BEFORE heading south. Your Uncle Ted shouted, 'NO! PERRO!' at them and I thought he was talking to me!! Oh, how we laughed- when I stopped vomiting. But much like this chihuahua here, we are sure they headed back to their casas wearing sombreros and ready to eat tacos."

"ANYWAY... I have also been to York. York is in England where Auntie Jo & Phoebe live. Though they do not live in a cottage. Nor have I ever seen Jo in Burberry. And I am a little irritated that the best they could come up with treat wise is a bone. Hellooo? Yorkshire Pudding? And Gizmo is a Yorkshire Terrier."

"Gizmo is a dick, Mom." "Oh, Ripley. Englishmen are all dicks- except Pappy Alan."

"And I have been to Paris. Auntie Sarah came with me and was in charge of all things French except the croissants. Which as you can see, our beret wearing poodle friend who lives in an Eiffel Tower model home, eats them, too! We never saw one. Maybe they were on the map, but I quite aggressively threw ours away when Auntie Sarah paid more attention to it than me!"

"Aren't I part poodle, Mama?" inquired my little smarty pantalon. "Indeed you are, Mon Cheri but you still can't have any chocolat!" "Pants in French is singular?" "Yes, Ripley. I googled it."

"What is this one, Mom?" asked Ripley of the final dog. "Ahhh, Ripley." I replied.

"That is some sort of Asian dog called a Sharpei. We can tell because it's house is called something Asian and that outfit is very Geisha-like and it appears to be eating an egg roll or a wonton of some kind."

"These dolls seem a bit UN-PC, Mom. I mean, what's next? An Irish Setter that is drunk with a potato? A German Shepard wearing a Hitler 'stache and eating some schnitzel? A Pit Bull that has a small ghetto and a 40? And don't even get me started on the Cockapoo!"

"Oh, Ripley," I replied. "The world is a complicated place and catalogs like these are above the rules of 'PC'. Besides, the point is Puppies come from all over the place! Now, it's time to get in your house, Mama has to go to work. Work. Mama has to go to WORK."

"Bitch. You're not my real Mom. Cluckin' Virginia. Now get me a treat."

Onslaught

Warning: Cuteness Factor is OFF THE CHARTS!

I like baby animals. I mean, seriously? Who doesn't?! I even like when they are being told

what's what ... but mainly, I just think they're cute- they warm my cranky, bitter heart! New York Magazine lead me to the sugar coated, syrup drizzled, cotton candy topped sweetness that is

Zoo Borns!!

Feeling icky? Frustrated? Crankypants? Check it out!

Here is a spoonful to help the suggestion go down!

A tiny turtle waves goodbye after the folks at the Oregon Zoo release him back into the

Columbia River Gorge!!

Seriously? Seriously. I am a sucker for a baby rhino!

This little lovebug makes that face at visitors to Longleat Safari Park- a place I visited once upon a time before he was born. I just wanna smooch him!!

The Pumpple is My Hero!

This is the Pumpple. It is a cake that has a

PUMPKIN PIE in it's chocolate layer and an APPLE PIE in it's vanilla layer!!

TWO PIES in ONE CAKE?!

Shut the front door!!!!

It is also approximately...

1800 calories a slice!!!

A SLICE!

I wanna road trip to Philly just to get one! It's the turducken of cake!!!

Made by the friggin' geniuses at

Flying Monkey!!

Mushroom!

Yesterday, Ripley & I met a lovely 3 year old pit mix called, Mushroom! How cute is that?!

I don't like mushrooms- for eating, that is. I know, I know- they are delicious! You lie. I also don't like onions. That being said- I like a dog named Mushroom and I also like to FIND mushrooms! My Bro was hellbent on finding a King Bolete (known to the Eye-talians as Porcini) on any of our walks and would spy a 'shroom and announce, "It must be something!" Good times! Anyway, in honor of Mushroom and mushroomin'.... here are some mushrooms I liked enough to capture! Just not in my mouth!

Though I took these pics purely on the basis of whimsy- I learned that the 'shrooms in the first pic (the colorful ones) are POIsonoUS! They are called Amanitas and even touching them can be hallucinogenic at best, leaving you in need of gastric decontamination or death at worst!

Just a little FYI!

OTRA: Some Random Pretties!

Things You Never Knew You Wanted: Gifts 4 Hims

With the holidays just around the corner and a massive explosion of catalogs in my mailbox, I though I could provide you all with some gift ideas! First up.... for the fellas!

This towel looks good coming and going! It's no kilt towel but if your fella knows how to work a tool- for only $22.95 you can get a gift he'll love almost as a Home Depot gift card! Only $22.95

According to the catalog, this tee is all good fun and the makers of it respect the Office of The President- nonetheless, if your fella is like my Dad... he will love sportin' this! You only need to drop $17.95 and several IQ points!

This Black Light UV flashlight will be a hit if your fella is into night hunting or just really wants to be the man to call for eveything from finding pet stains to unclean potties to...

SCORPIONS?!

Only $19.99

And finally, what fella doesn't love a good fart? Get 'em started young on the joy of fart noises! This Plush Gassy Elephant emits not 1, not 2, not even 6 fart sounds but EIGHT different toots all available at the squeeze of a tail!

Don't pull my finger- pull out $24.95 and this baby is all yours!