Dear Chris March,

I am soooo sorry you got the boot in the final hour of the Project Runway! My new girlfriend, Heidi Klum, wants you to make all of Bella's costumes for her! I want you to, too!! Tim would totally think that the smell in my monkey house is better than the one in your human hair covered one so come on over!! Bella says yes to safety pins and to you! You should have smothered Rami with your man boobs and then draped him for effect!

love, jenn

Kimmel Strikes Back!

Not as catchy a tune as Sarah and Matt's but a damn good re-butt-al! Seriously... if you aren't laughing by the time they get to Josh Groban (or Harrison) well, I just don't know why we are friends!

For Those Who Don't Know...

Having just got cable for the first time in many moons... I had a lot of catching up to do! And I have been spending a lot of time with Project Runway! Now, a part of me has been soundly captured by the glorious Tim Gunn... but I have a confession to make.... I totally heart Heidi Klum. Seriously, like, can she be my girlfriend?? I truly believe she is the most beautiful woman on the planet. Even pregnant (ala Season 2) she is simply stunning! And did everyone see her at the Oscars last night??? Really??? I totally have a huge crush! Turns out Aunt Alice was right... at least when it comes to my new girlfriend, Heidi!

So, Now You Know...

A coffee table book on Kerry's coffee table that I was reading whilst trying to block Barbara Walters out of my head on her pre Oscars show...

Here are some facts that are completely useless but that I found interesting!

-Flamingos get their color from beta-cartene content in the shrimp they eat. Flamingos that don't eat shrimp are white, not pink.

-An exocannibal eats only his enemies while an indocannibal eats only his friends.

-Abe Lincoln's mother died from drinking the milk of the family dairy cow after it had eaten poisonous mushrooms.

-The unpopped kernels in a bowl of popcorn are called "old maids".

-Diseases spread by fleas have killed more people than all wars ever fought, combined.

*from So, Now You Know... by Harry Bright and Harlan Briscoe

For the little people...

...who don't fly privately. This is what it is like!

A photo essay from the Travel Rhino!

Come along... he saved a seat for you!

The best costume OF ALL TIME???!!!

Really??? Of ALL TIME!! First off... can we call it a costume if it is only a yard of fabric?? Seriously, the dress is thicker than she is. Secondly- Dorothy's gingham?? Marilyn's blow up?? Scarlet's curtains?? Cleopatra's gold?? Even Bo Derek's bikini... (or Julia's Pretty Woman red or Kelly's neon dance ensemble that she saves Miracles in or...)


People- do you agree with the voters from InStyle and Sky Movies (British movie channel)??
Though I think the dress is lovely and almost makes her like she is more than a skeleton-
I do NOT!

You Gotta Have FRIENDS!!!

Once Upon A Time...

...Matt came to visit! And despite the fact that immigration could have said no, no, no- Matt charmed the Immigration Officer faster than Winehouse nabbed some blow and a Grammy! And so for five lovely days, we got to live like a real couple in the new someday-to-be ours apartment!

We held a summit at IKEA to conquer the hutch vs. dresser debate...

...and got some lovely new furniture!

We painted...


...looked good doing it in our Home Depot caps!

We had a Sunday roast complete with Yorkshire pudding!

(in my new red roasting pan ala the Doughertys!)

Oh, and we argued because we are both stubborn, delightful people used to doing it our own way. And so we may have clashed swords but we are each others' rock and hard place for better or worse. Thankfully, we completely agree that laughter breaks down all of our walls!

And even though we hoped Virgin might call a snow day,

he had to go.

Which made our new someday-to-be ours apartment seem... empty!

And so now, I am back to Immigration SUCKS!

The End

Well, our new TV does fill that wall quite nicely.

(despite leaving James terribly perplexed!)

Go Teddy D!!

So, Teddy has decided that taking a break from educating our youth was worth it to show off his acting chops! And I couldn't agree more! Mainly, because I have always loved him... in England, I loved him the most, I just couldn't find the words! There are three episodes so far so stay tuned! Or go to You Tube and watch the rest!

R.I.P.

He will never need a bigger boat....

For your fine Sunday Reading!

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
Story from BBC NEWS

Oh, Anonymous....

Does this make you happier?? You know, scanner-wise?? I love you!!

PS... for those of you who aren't Anonymous-

this is a pic of one cute Mom when she was an adorable kid!

You know, 15 years ago....

A big thank you RobbLeighD!

Just when I think our TV shows are insane... I am provided with this magical marshallow eating wonder! ENJOY!

Die, Scanner, Die!! Part 3

Seriously, what ever happened to Bell's BBQ??

I know what should have happened to that sweatshirt that I look so hot in...

but alas, I just took it out of the dryer! Bell's may have gone away

but my love for my Newhouse sweatshirt is as great as ever!

My Scanner's Defeat, Part 2!

So, many moons ago, me Ma and I traveled around the Emerald Isle. She was well versed at screaming whilst I drove by the time we saw this young fella on the side of the road. And the top of her lungs got a workout when I pulled over like a mad woman to explore the "what the hell" of this vignette. As I recall it, this lad was selling photo opportunities of he, his cat and his ass. I don't remember what it went for in pounds but in memories... PRICELESS!

Me Vs. My Scanner?? I WIN!!

And thus I can present to you this fine photo!

Clearly, I came by my love of kitsch naturally!!

It's All In The Name!

Another Super Bowl Sunday! Here are my hopes for the game... that the commercials are good. That my Buffalo Chicken Wing dip is tasty. That Chris Berman is funny (as if he wouldn't be!) That Tom Petty is entertaining. Oh, and some good football would be nice, I guess!

I am putting my red, hot dollar on the Giants.

I like that Eli Manning. He's a good boy.

He didn't ditch his girlfriend and unborn child.

He's got a GREAT name.

He likes Oreos.

Sorry, M&H. You can't be a Bills fan and not vote for the Underdog!

Not For the Kiddos!

But freakin' funny! And I am not even a huge fan of hers...