The S is For Super

Keeping With A Theme...

Yep. Still playing with this "getting in shape" idea. Though as I have been at it for like, 3 whole days now... I am unsure as to why I am not 30lbs thinner yet? Whatevs.

This morning I had a smoothie. I like smoothies. Especially with ice cream and chocolate and... This was not that smoothie. This recipe came from Health magazine. It was pretty tasty actually so I am passing it on. And apparently, this almond milk stuff is all good for you and shit so... "Milk" is a bit of a stretch however. Almond-y WATER would be better. No matter...

Green Tea Smoothie with Mango and Pineapple

8 oz unsweetened vanilla almond milk

8 oz brewed green tea (umm... didn't have that so doubled the "milk")

1/2 C frozen mango chunks (used fresh myself)

1/2 C pineapple- fresh or canned in its own juices (I used frozen)

BLEND! (I added ice for consistency. Wish I had added 1/2 a banana)

So, in truth, I just kinda made a tropical almond milk smoothie! Good Stuff!

OH... I forgot the best part.... I quote this from Health, btw.

Serve with 6 walnut halves on the side

Huh? a) because there isn't enough nut product involved here? b) why not 3 walnuts c) thank God! With only 4, I would be starving! d) not on top?

So much to poke fun at really in just one little sentence!!

Dear Billy Blanks, Jr-

When I first saw an ad for Cardioke, I made fun. I put a picture on this very blog and well, made fun. But ever since I started watching Exercise on Demand (1025 on my TV) and contemplating actually doing a workout, I admit, I have been drawn to your option. I tried some AM Yoga (it was only 11 minutes), some PM Stretch (I like the low key stuff. Oh, and 11 minutes) and even a Cadio Dance (short but stupid) but this morning, I gave in.

I am not normally up at this hour. In fact, I loathe being up at this hour. But as long as I was up, I thought... sure, an AM Stretch-ilates sounds good. But there you were- calling me... "Come. Sing. Dance. CARDIOKE!" And I did, Billy Blanks, Jr. I did!

And I LOVED it!! First of all- you, sir, are adorable! Just adorable. Although, I enjoy you referencing your "wife" and I am sure he is adorable, too- it is you that hooked me. And Jackie. What a voice. Good stuff. And the 25 minutes seemed like 24. You did The Time, Billy Blanks, Jr. And Jackie wears bandannas on her wrist like Ozone.

I am not promising I will see you tomorrow morning but I might. I just might. I do apologize for my early misguided attempt at humor. Sure, your concept is so cheesy it needs crackers but I like cheese. And crackers. Who am I to make fun? Who am I, Billy Blanks, Jr? I Am Enough*. That's who.

love, jenn

*I Am Enough is the cool down song written by Billy Blanks, Jr's wife. Very take it to the self help church but it got a little amen from me. And then it went on for like 18 more minutes and I realized... someone doesn't like his man getting all the play.

Gross.

Ginger Tea. I don't care how good it is for digestion. My stomach can stay in mother cluckin' knots. This shit's GROSS.

What do I need... a ton of honey to make this yummy?

Cook MYSELF Thin!

Yesterday, I caught this new show on the Lifetime (5 & 5:30 at my house) called Cook Yourself Thin. Shockingly, it is a British show... retooled for America! And although I thought- "Whatevs, cooking show with a diet twist! Pass the Ben & Jerrys!" I LOVED it!! 3 Chefs (one from the British show, one from Top Chef, one from somewhere else) and a woman's daily meals. The chefs take the guests meals and make them over in a thinner way! (Think applesauce instead of oil stuff) Well, they had me a cupcakes made with zucchini!! Zucchini, I tell you!! I printed some menus, I shopped thru my tears today (it has been a bad day) and although I didn't make the cupcakes... I started with the grilled flank steak with rosemary rub and balsamic reduction. HELLOOOOO!!! Delish! I am buying a grill pan- screw you, George Foreman! So good! It was supposed to be served with a cauliflower potato mash but I went with roasted veg since I knew I liked those! But the mash is happening! As are the cupcakes and maybe even the cookbook!

I feel like I have done a fine job filling the Matt size hole in my life with food. And now I feel like I jammed at 6ft tall man into my 5'4" frame... so a change has gotta come! And daily DVRing of Cook Yourself Thin is part of that change! And of course, my updates of the recipes! So, get rubbin' your flanks because it is good!! Tomorrow- the cupcakes!

http://www.mylifetime.com/ is the main link and then head to the show from there!

Ahhh, Cinco De Mayo.

Is it too early to start celebrating a battle I know nothing about except that it clearly involved Coronas and tequilla?

Sweet Little Bells...

I kinda wish my blog was Scratch-N-Sniff... for you, of course.

I gots my lilies of the valley right here!

My Gentleman Caller...

Once upon a time, on my magical BFG Patio, a bird built a nest. Sure, the nest was built in the vent for my bathroom but it kept that nest warm and cozy and apparently, homey.

As spring sprung, and the chirps got louder and I knew we had some lovely babies getting ready to fly. The Patio is indeed, magical. (And at least somebody was gettin' some.

In a vent. Intended for my bathroom.)

But more charming than the magic of well, the circle of life, is the Papa Bird. He used to hover, as a good Papa should, 'round the patio- flying in and out of the nest with things. Some of which he dropped, making a giant patio mess that he didn't seem to be the least bit concerned with- as long as his Woman and their Babies were all good. Sometimes, I would scatter some bread about the patio along with his mess. And without a huge amount of alcohol or Match.com or a bride's little brother- a relationship was born.

Papa now sits on my steps every morning. He chirps and chirps and doesn't even flinch when the door opens. Even the screen door barely makes him flinch. He hops out of its way, sure- but he waits for me. He waits for me every day. And I have bought a loaf of bread. Sometimes, his Woman swoops down and grabs up a snack but her Babies are her home and I am ok with that.

I just can't wait for the morning that I hear a chirp, chirp, chirp and open the door to see My Gentleman Caller and his Babies lined up on the step with a big thank you Banner. Until then, I continue to be charmed each and every day. And the magic of the Patio continues to shine.... How could anyone not want to wake up here? (Maybe the Banner will also explain that?)
The End...

Talk Dirty To Me!

"Bumblebees and a few other native bees are able to vibrate the flower- something a European honeybee cannot do- shaking pollen from the stamens to the stigma, where it fertilizes the ovules that will become seeds inside a pod..." *

Oooh, yeah! Your stinger is sooo big! You are making me buzzzzz!

*bee porn provided by the New York Times article entitled Come Hither, Bumblebee, and Pollinate

I Wanna Be Julia When I Grow Up!

Thank You, Rachel Maddow!

For many, many things but tonight in particular for having this DeGroff fellow on your show. Oh, and for making fun of conservatives that don't know The Colbert Report is a satire! Good Lord.

Anyway, this guy made a mint julep and was smashing ice in a special burlap looking bag so that the water was absorbed by the bag and the ice was at its driest. Thus making the bestest cocktail! Well, a man who knows that knows from cocktails! Yes, please on the book! And yes, PLEASE on a Book-Warming party on the Bitchin' Patio!!

A Mini Game...

Backstage at AMERICANBLACKOUT was a small area. And as The Tank has a different something every couple of hours, there was many a prop that didn't belong to us. A wheelchair, a table, a piano... there was also varying set lists and scene break downs posted on the wall. I have no clue what this particular list was from, I just know that nightly- I picked a new favorite scene. I want YOU to have that opportunity as well! I have no clue what those scenes actually were as I have no clue what the show was but good golly Miss Molly- I kinda wanna write 'em! So, go on... what's your favorite??

OH... I was keen on #3 for a while. Bruised/Make you breakfast? Sounds like a helluva a hook up. But it is #16 that I wanna write.

Me: Hello

Menstruation: Hello.

Me: I hate you.

Menstruation: I am a gift from God so that you can...

Me (interrupting): Oh, Fuck Off!

NO WAY!

Kittens... If you are my real friend (as defined by the Facebook, of course), then you have already read of the greatest patio discovery since my Praying Mantis friend! A hidden Lily of the Valley crop! Color me happy as a clam! (What color is that I wonder?)

Lily of the Valley is my favorite flower. I love its delicateness, its tiny perfection and its heavenly smell. I am not a girl who has ever been given to dreaming about how my wedding would be but when my mind wandered... it was always to my huge bouquet of lilies of the valley! (This was long before I thought about how tricksy and expensive that would be, of course and yet still... someday!) My parents gave me the perfect little bouquet of them when I graduated from college which I dried and still have! (Again, my real friends know just how long that is and thus how impressive!)

So, the BFG Apartment has a two car drive attached. For the first 8 or 9 months, the owner of the building had his car parked in both spots and the rest of the drive was taken up by an insane amount of leaves and garbage and grossness that I absolutely refused to rake! Not my job!! And then the Old Fashion Leaf Raking party happened and I was outvoted and the mess was cleaned up. Seriously... horrid. I would not have been shocked if there had been a body underneath all that mess. CSI: Astoria, indeed! And so, the drive was ready for two cars. I rented one spot to my pal Marcy's man and kept the other for Nannyland purposes (or Thunder or guests, etc). I have kept up on the tidying of the area now that the major clean up had been done and I was thrilled to discover that somehow, someway a crop of Lilies had bloomed! Again, color me clam!

And I am thrilled to have just one little strand of sweet smelling perfection on my desk every day! I am sure there is a making lemonade lesson here but I am too pleased to care!

As I said on the Facebook... it is like a little gift of your favorite flower from Mother Nature!

And I am mighty thankful!

Patio EXPLOSION!!

And so... not only have the bulbs I planted become flowers, but things I planted last year have flowered and bloomed, too!! I am almost giddy with excitement! God Bless Mother Nature...

She's a single woman, too!

"Don't Kiss A Pig!"

Nail? Head. Head? Nail.

A Life Lesson

So, last night... after the show and drinks with the fabulous Bobbi at a very loud Mercury Lounge (Lounge is clearly a misnomer... Mercury Sports Bar with Really Loud Music. Much better) (Though they did play both Poison by Bell Biv Devoe and My Prerogative by Bobby Brown) (and for those who this sentence matters to... I did the routine in my chair for Bobbi who was suitable impressed with my memory. Oh, and my chair dance skills)...

I was walking to the N train and spied Geoffrey Rush (who smiled at me) and Orlando Bloom walking from Exit The King which stars Mr. Rush. Bloom was mobbed with people. He was on the phone and people were swarming him like No See Ums on a golf course in CNY in August. Not paparazzi, just normal people trying to get his picture and Orlando just carried on as if they were not there.

Geoffrey was completely alone. I think he smiled at me because I, realizing who he was, smiled at him. He also STANK like patchouli. This is not a smell I enjoy and it was swarming him like No See Ums on a golf course in CNY in August.

And there is your life lesson, folks.... If you are a celebrity who wants to be left alone, swim in patchouli first. I really think Orlando would have benefited from this lesson. Maybe after he reads this (Hey Orly!), he will know better!

Seriously, Watch This!

I love scary movies. I think most people know this about me. But turns out... I also love scary TV shows!! True Blood? No brainer. But this Harper's Island?! I love it!!! It is incredibly well paced. The story hooks you. They are excellent at the cliff hanger episode ending. Sure it has flaws but so far? An AWESOME ride!! Thursday nights, people! Check your local listings for showtimes! You are 3 behind but they catch you up quick at the beginning. Or watch them on ye olde world wide web. Or my DVR- which is what I did last night, post-performance!

TONIGHT!!

See you there! I'll be the white chick on stage!

Call me... Mother Nature!

I got Green Thumbs and I cannot lie...

Hey Ladies!!

"Enter Single GNOME Female. Funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party. Breasts placed at the appropriate height. Make-up, flawless. Nails, done. Hair, a thing of wonder. Sweet, smelling perfume dancing through the air. A girl from around the way who had the whole room's attention, and she knew it."

Gnomette from my Mom. I love her! (both Hers actually!) Words from AMERICANBLACKOUT by Robb Leigh Davis. I love him! You can see it at The Tank this week!! http://www.thetanknyc.org/ for more info and tickets! I'll be the white chick on stage. Maybe I will bring the Gnomette? (Course she is busy with all them Gnomes on the patio... I think Ozone is already in love!)