OMG! WTF!!

As I think everyone is well aware, I love my patio. I sometimes think it saves my sanity. Since moving in here in November '07- I have cared for, cultivated, weeded, planted, enjoyed, partied, been quiet and loud and reflective and drunk and festive on my patio. When I moved in, it had clearly been neglected. As I understand, illness and death had dictated the care of the foliage and I took over and brought it back to life. I LOVE MY PATIO!

Yesterday morning, I heard a chainsaw type noise. I covered my head with my pillow and went back to sleep. It was only 9AM and a Saturday! When I finally awoke and started moving and went outside, I was shocked to find that the patio had been violated. The chainsaw noise? Someone sawing ALL three trees (including one that is by my living room window) are now stumps. Gnomes were strewn about. Chairs askew. Sure, the shavings were swept up- which is weird for a violent tree saw-er I would think but it was all GONE!! GONE!! I ran up to my neighbors and they had no clue. I called the landlady and the land lady's sister's husband- no answer.

I cannot begin to describe how I felt. How I still feel.... This is such a violent violation. A man with a chainsaw had jumped over my fence and attacked my patio. And to make matters more whack-a-doodle, some fucknut was screaming across the street with a face covered in blood. Same delightful fella who whilst fighting with his girlfriend weeks back, chucked something out a window almost killing the Asian lady sweeping her sidewalk in front of the laundromat! Domestic violence. Flora violence... WTF?!! I sobbed all day yesterday.

When the landlady's sister's husband finally called me back, it was to tell me it was all a MISTAKE!! A fucking mistake. Their gardener was supposed to come trim stuff back here and cut stuff down at a different property owned by the family. A mistake. My patio, attacked, by mistake. With no warning, mind, that a man with a chainsaw would be stopping by and leaping the fence. We have worked out a solution given the massacre.... but it doesn't change the devastation. They now have to try and dig out the stumps for trees so well established, they are effecting the sidewalk so that I can plant something new. Crushed. Crushed. crushed....

This is my patio on September 21st of last year... Complete with my girl, Mantis!

At Easter, Hershey came to visit... Sure, there is no foliage but there are trees for which the foliage to grow on!

In June, we had a BBQ for Eunice... there was bubbles and gorgeous children and privacy created by the foliage!!

The corner of my patio in June...


Labor Day '09 (same corner)

Saturday Morning....

The corner now....

My Mama Comes To The Hamptons!

Gizmo loves to work it!!

My pretty Mama enjoying the pool!

I love me a Mallo flower!

Me & my Mama at Wolffer Vineyards in Sagaponack!

I had to take a break and get some work done... Poor me! hee hee

Gizmo embarking his new training regime!

My Mom took this supercool reflective pic... She's so good!

My brave, crazy, wonderful Dancing Queen...

...took off her two-steppin' shoes and jumped from an airplane. That's her over Chicago.

14,000 feet over Chicago!!

I know she was scared but I am SO proud. And impressed. And questioning her sanity.

Bravo, Stina... You have already beautifully survived a lot and this jump, though nuts, is just another reason that I love you!

Sure, they have common interests...

...but are they happy?

What? More to say??

Turns out, yes. Here's the thing- I didn't watch the VMAs until Monday night. My Mom is here, True Blood was on, dropping A back at boarding school.... lots going on. So, I caught the show on Monday. Of course, by then- I had read reports of Kanye's misdoings and was not surprised but thought- "really?" And then I saw it. For those of you who did not. The delightful Taylor Swift was giving an acceptance speech for the Best Female Video Award and mid-speech, Kanye came on stage and to praise Beyonce. He doesn't say "should have won", he doesn't say "compared to yours, Taylor"- he simply takes that moment to be a fucking douche. Selfish. Selfish and rude. And seeing it- took my breath away.

I believe in the freedom of speech. I believe we all have the right to not only have our opinions but express them- loudly. I do NOT believe we have the right to shit on other people. For the record, I agree with Kanye. Beyonce had the better video. But wanting to say that and managing to shit on someone at the same time does not compute.

I love that everyone boo'd. I love that Taylor went, minutes later, and sang her little heart out. And I adore, ADORE the gracious and graceful and delicious way that Beyonce stepped in and stepped up to the plate. She did it with class and love and honor and I will sing a little louder the next time Single Ladies comes on.

I tolerate a lot. Tolerance is part of my job. But there is simply no excuse for rudeness. My Mother still reminds my brother and I to say please and thank you. Because it is that important. It is a sign of our times. This state of entitlement that says to an incredibly talented, visionary artist- "YOUR opinion matters more than anything." This state of entitlement that lets a man believe that ruining a "capital M" Moment for a young star is ok because he should be heard. This state of entitlement that comes with the same impulse control that the average, barely trained animal has.

And then he goes on Leno. And Leno asks what his Mom would say. My problem, no matter how sad or regretful or lost he is without her, is that his Mom should have made it clear when she was with him.... His opinion matters. But no opinion matters so much that shitting on an excited young lady's success is the right way to express it. There are moments we regret in our lives- moments that our behavior, our manners, our upbringing fly out the window. We all have them. Lord knows, I have... well, one or two, maybe. But to shame oneself is a-whole-nother kettle of fish. I hope that Kanye is ashamed. I hope he knows that blogging that he is "sooooo sorry" doesn't count for jack. And I hope that Beyonce knows that she provided the audience of the VMA a moment of pure grace and an example to live up to. And I hope that Taylor knows that this whole thing wasn't about her- but about a little man who needs to be punished. Because that is what we do to children who act out. I hope this reverberates the right way through the world because this sense of entitlement crap is starting to push me over the edge.

Oh, and I bet Kanye has a small dick.

For Beyonce....

...who is simply a L A D Y!! Bravo, B. Bravo!

For Taylor....

...who simply didn't deserve it. When you are rude, I call you Rudy. And that was just rude, Rudy West.

Thanks for Never Putting Baby in A Corner....

...and for teaching us to be nice, until it is time to not be nice.

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze

Glee?

Don't get me wrong... I LOVE the show Glee. I thought the first episode this week lived up to its hype from last spring. Anything that celebrates music works for me. I enjoy the underdog victorious. And don't even get me started at how much I love Jane Lynch! Clearly, I think you should watch it!

That being said, the whole thing makes me want to call a do-over.

Tennis, Deer?

What? No RACKet? Ah, well... another time!

The Tennis!

Well, it's that time of year again! The time when I attend yet another sporting event with my dear friend, Devonne! Together, we would be hard pressed to PLAY a sport but we make excellent spectators! And if there is any sport I love more than The Tennis...  well, it would be most sports, actually. But this isn't just any tennis- it's the US Open!! And so, I go, I watch, I usually cheer and I wish for a way to have a tennis players physique without all the tennis!

Among the great things at The Tennis is free stuff! Here are my peeps enjoying some free Greek yogurt! Because nothing says tennis more than Greek yogurt!!

And I never tire of this view...

Or this one...

This pic makes it seem as if we were further away than we really were but it is a cool view of the Arthur Ashe stadium/arena/court thing!

The winner of the match we saw (which was really good, btw) was this woman- whose name sounded like pancetta. She was clearly as loved by the Italians but not as much of a ham!

She was up against this lovely lady! Her name began with a Z. That's all I have. She came close to getting the match point easily 6 times and Pancetta fought her back each time to victory!

Although nothing comes without a cost. Here we see the greatest one- an injury that requires you to be shaken, face down, ass more than half out in front of thousands of people. 

One of the sponsors of The Tennis is Evian. This cutout on the side of their vending booths is both creepy and not the least bit tennis-y!

So, that's my report from The Tennis this year!! Join me next year when hopefully I will see Billie Jean King make her comeback bid and win by a Touchdown! 

I almost forgot my favorite part of The Tennis...  DD pouring the booze! CHEERS!

just in case you forgot...

...my niece and nephew are STILL ridiculously cute! 

Oh, OK...

Britain. Britain. Britain. (Part 2)

A few final shots...

Falmouth, Cornwall 

And this is Jo & Phoebe's dog, Morgan. She has renewed my need for a dog NOW! 

Ummmm....

...hide-n-seek? 

My gnomes is gnuts! That is how I found them today. In my "I swear I am not gnuts" defense...  Turbo was balanced on the ledge from his photo shoot with Jasmine but Ozone looks positively post-coital. 

Cra-zay-zy!

Britain. Britain. Britain.

Just some fun "American Girl in England" pics... 

I was amused and thus, I assume- you will be, too!

As opposed to Byron's IMproper burgers on the other side of the tracks...

That shit just ain't right.

A special gum depository at the Natural History Museum. 

I spit mine in. I will check it out in seven years...

Covent Garden puts the H in Yogurt. 

No clue what this was about...  The broken window was in the front of a closed down Woolworths. The sticker? No clue!

I have never seen a Spork display...  I was VERY excited!

Oh, I Do Love To Be By The Seaside...