Inspiration!

Snapped this pic of the Patio Grass on my way out the door to El Hamptons-o (that's Spanish for Hamptons).... It's growing like crazy!! Which inspired my purchases moments ago! Stay tuned!!

Yes, Please!

They were only like $400 each... So, I will take them both!

Report From Oregon is...

...STILL ADORBS!!

Shockingly Fun Sunflowers!

Songs I Wish I Had Written, Part 1

My Mom sent me a version of this a couple o' days ago and I just listened to it! HI-larious!! It is also funny in any of the varying LIVE with audience reaction... (avails on the youtube) I fucking love it!

sometimes a day is almost too hard. you are assaulted with yesterday. faced with today. 

and just plain motionless about tomorrow. 

and yet you go forth. one step at a time. one foot in front of the other. you shop. you buy a new plant. you make the tough choices. you laugh. you cry. you long. you shut down. 

time makes some things easier. makes some things easier. time is against us as much as it is on our side. overwhelmed. underwhelmed. emptied out and full up. how? when? why? WHY? 

it's a clusterfuck. it's exhausting. its almost too much. almost. almost.

bring on the wonders. or just go away.

"if you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. in fact, your heart is made to break; it's purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever-more wonders." -andrew harvey

Dumb as a Box of Hammers.

Today, I was captivated by a field of sunflowers (pics to come). When they are all bloom (still to come) it is such a sight! And it was such a misty morning here in the Hamptons that I couldn't resist stopping after losing the kiddos to camp to snap some shots.

Of course, sunflowers go for like $45 a bundle here so these were fenced in. Electric fenced in. How do I know? Yep, you guessed it. I just wanted a close up!!!! 

You're Welcome.

Free small iced/hot mocha  at McDonald's today from 7-7. And also next Monday.

 'Course, I think their coffee is GROSS but if you don't... McCafe Away!

I Love a Gnome.

This is not a surprise to ANYONE who has any contact with me. My 3 year old nephew associates gnomes in stores as Things To Buy For Auntie Denn. For the record, I have a small issue with midgets. I know it's wrong. I know. Maybe if they had a pointy hat? Point is...

What was this Gnome Lover thinking?

Germany Allows Display of Nazi Gnome
German Officials will Take No Action Against German Artist Ottmar Hoerl

"The investigation in Nuremberg has determined that the gold-painted gnome is ridiculing the Nazis rather than glorifying Nazi ideology, and is meant to counter fascists' ideas and therefore not illegal."

How Does MY Grass Grow?

Yep... I planted grass. Just plain regular grass. And when you only have a little grass- you can mow it with scissors! Or just let it GROW!!!

How Else Does MY Garden Grow?

How Does MY Garden Grow?

Because I am in Nannyland so much in the summer, I feel like I am lacking in Patio Reports! That being said- I take pictures of every bit of growth as I am darn proud of my green thumb and so... Here is the Patio in fast forward! Speed Farming!

This is only the first of many tomatoes! It was delish!! Especially with the homegrown basil!

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A Poll.

Let's say...  you need to end your Mirage. You have hired a lawyer. You have paid a considerable amount of money to said lawyer to get the ball rolling. Said lawyer has sent a letter to to the man playing the role of Douche Bag in your Mirage and has received notice that he has moved. (Or perhaps, if we are lucky, has been involved in an exceedingly painful snafu that maybe involves the area where his balls are not).

Do you:

A) email him and ask for said current address

B) have said lawyer email/call him

C) ask the Man Witness at your Mirage for his current address AGAIN as asking him the first time evidently caused him some angst and you haven't heard from him since you asked (and that is unusual) 

D) have a Sweet Tea Vodka & lemonade for breakfast and go back to bed

E) let your blog readers decide!!

Talk amongst yourselves. Let me know ASAP! Please and thank you. In the meantime, I choose D!

Hamptons Pie is Bigger Than Other Pie (& more expensive!)

The real showdown was with me... at least for the deer!

Annalee doing an imitation of our favorite Hamptons cops!

My love affair with the hydrangea continues...

Sitting on the dock of the bay

Today...

...there was a showdown.
Umm, no one won.

Ummmm, huh.

I have a huge family. Italian on my Mother's side. Huge. A billion cousins. And one, who shall remain nameless, has taken to texting me when she is bored.

She is between the ages 8 and 12. She will remain nameless here.

Today, she texted me the following....

"If u had a life u would be married if u didn't have a life u would be living in trash and if your married u will have a life see how that works for me"

This was in response to my explaining that I couldn't text her back immediately as I had a life. I can't even imagine what bedtime stories are like in their house. They are all set in 1862.

Today.

I did 90 minutes of yoga and didn't lose my marbles. I also didn't "clear my mind" but that would take 90 minutes and a miracle!

Gurl... I Know How You Feels!

Streetside on 28th, Astoria

insert inappropriate wiener joke here

The local newspaper also said an 11-year-old neighbor thought the truck was selling hot dogs,

and ran over with cash.

(that's my kind of kid!)

So far, the homeowner has been denied insurance coverage for what the paper called "a wienermobile-inflicted claim."

My Beloved Eddie and The Tale of TechnoJOY