Have I mentioned lately...

...how ridiculously cute and fun Abby & William are??

My Favorite Cookie...

...is a chocolate chip meringue. I prefer them made by my Mom but if I can't have those... Trader Joe makes a fine one. And thank God they are low fat because I ate an ENTIRE CONTAINER!! Not in one sitting, of course... but in a day. I'm not proud of this behavior... But I am full!

And I had a lovely cocktail to go with it! Because if you are going to have cookies for dinner, why not have a Rasberry Mojito chaser?! Especially if it's made with fresh mint from the Patio!

Now- add a side of Harper's Island and that spells a perfect Saturday night at the BFG Apartment!

One Semester.

Seriously, 1990 was very fashionable no matter what you were doing!

Off to University of Buffalo. Fall 1990

TMI...

"I loved it this season when girls went crazy for me. As far as I'm concerned, it's all hot. Just because I'm not sticking it in there doesn't mean that I don't find it beautiful."

-Adam Lambert in Rolling Stone

(Memo to AL- remember when you were just singing fantastically, ambiguously sexual and not talking vag? I liked that better. Stick that to your sticking post. love, jenn)

THE Moment.

So, on Friday- we decide to wander into Old San Juan. the doormen at our hotel lets us know that due to "congestion", cabs won't be heading all the way into Old Town and advises us to take the bus! OK! We like buses. We take pictures at the bus stop. We enjoy the design of the seats. We sit. And we sit. And we sit. Until two chicks let us know that due to "the protest", there are no buses. They have sneakers on and will be walking. Umm, OK?! We start walking (as the chicks have said 30 minutes) but jump in a cab who takes us as far as he can due to the

"congestion created by the protest".

Long story short- we ride a bit and then we walk. And we walk. And we walk. We avoid the "protest"- which I was calling a parade as that made it seem more fun. That being said- there were tunes and food and flags and bright shirts so it was kinda fun. Shame about the government cutting 40% of public jobs to privatize and save some dinero but boy, Puerto Ricans are a colorful bunch!

Did I mention the walking? It was hot. We did not have water. We had Elizabeth and she had had enough! So, we popped into a bank (I needed to break some dirty Nannyland hundreds) to bask in the AC. Near the counter where the banking is done, there is a plaque with a poem on it called Let Me Think of Life. I am so moved by it, that I stand dumbstruck for a moment trying to figure out if a teller wrote it for a contest or a real poet wrote it. Turns out, it is a famous poem. I learn this after a terribly concerned employee asks if I need help... not sure why she assumed that what with me being sweaty and red faced and teary eyed. Esta bien, gracias.

And now, I have a new mission for the day... find out who wrote the poem. (Which, in theory, is something that would be delivered to me with a cold Medalla Light) And thankfully, due to my need to go into every cute looking crafty type shop- mission accomplished. Lady Lee Andrews. She is a big deal in the poetry world, apparently, and runs a shop in OSJ called The Poet's Passage for the benefit of local poets and artists. It was in that shop, after rereading and still enjoying the poem that brought me there, that I had THE moment.

I saw another poem and as I read, I felt... everything. That was THE moment. The reason I went. The moment that words heal- that they let you know you can feel without having to solve. I cried. Anne got goosebumps. Elizabeth just needed water, bless her.

I promptly bought the poem and hope you like it, too....

Esta bien, gracias.

Yeah...

...it's like a Slanket but with an absorbtion bonus! And only $19.95? What else can I wear with cunning use of sleeve technology?!

Top PR Moments....

Our Ocean View....

My first frosty beach beverage...

Whilst A&E debate fried plantains or fried plantains- I kept busy!

When we visited the "rain forest" (ok, ok... It was at the Intercontinental)

Anne flips for PR!

Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Back

Oh, the patio looks pretty...

tomatoes growing, basil smelling lush and my bird is chirping away about my return!

"I missed you, bread giver. I missed you so... "

"And I show you just how much with a little sacrifice."

Coqui! Coqui!

Ahh, Puerto Rico. Hear the sounds of the coqui frog. And if you listen real goods- the ocean.

BTW... it is the coqui male that sings this tune- all night long apparently. He is the Lionel Richie of the frog kingdom. He is also about the size of a dime. The male also guards the eggs and then hangs for a few days post-hatch to keep an eye out. That's a good man. The babies- which must be the size of pinheads- skip the tadpole stage and hatch directly from the eggs as tiny but fully functional froglets! Muy cool.

Now, an old man making this sound on a jam packed airplane to entertain his three toddler relations that someone thought should sit together sans-adult in the row behind me is NOT muy cool. He is an a-hole. But proud of his ko kee sound making skills. Again... coqui? Cool. A-hole? Not cool.

My Top* 5 Shots...

...in no particular order!

*You know... by "top"- I mean my faves in an artsy way...

Stayed tuned for my "top" in a moment way!

Cause there were some moments, people! :)

Hola from Puerto Rico!

Sun. Sand. Booze. Dancing. Amen.

Patio Fun?

As I am off to the PR tomorrow- I decided to cut back the wilds of the patio on the sidewalk side. It is a little out of control- branches low enough for me to hit my head on! So, I was just going to trim a few. Do I own the place? No. But I get annoyed and want it to look nice. I got out my clippers and my patio trimmings basket and hacked away. No real rhyme. No real reason. Just a cut here. A clip there. Until a neighbor decided to offer his help... I should have said no but I was charmed by his tale of his childhood and the goats that enjoyed the very plant I was trimming. Ummm, ok. I like goats. What I didn't like was his EXCESSIVE cutting. OMG! He cut down half a tree and then left all the branches on the sidewalk. Sir? Are your goats here? Will they be taking care of this mess? Nope. Turns out that was me on clean up duty. Not a goat to be found.

And really... who doesn't want to spend 2 hours playing Goat? Especially when you still have to pack, do laundry, shower and maybe sleep. Oh, and take my antibiotics!!

Sometimes, the Universe gives us a gift beyond compare. Call it fate. Call it serendipity.

Call it whatever you want- I believe it is a gift and it is meant.

The Universe gave me a Sister and I am so grateful.

My Sister sent me these treats for my patio and a card for my heart.

Both are better for it.

xoxo

Sick Bay 2009, Part 9

And at 10:46, we are coming up to the end... And so, it is our final report LIVE from The Couch!

-Kings Of Leon MTV promo ad of them playing golf and cursing made me like them more.

-Samberg changes outfit and announces it. Weird. Susan Lucci throws up in her mouth a little.

-Jim Carey wins Best Comedic Performance for Yes, Man and gets a standing O. Who saw Yes, Man? I didn't say yes. Mentions Prop 8 and swine flu in in his over-rehearsed

acceptance monologue.

-I owe myself ten bucks as Ferrell and Popcorn Man were onscreen together thus ensuring they are not one in the same. Oops. You got me, MTV. You got me.

-Heath Ledger wins Best Villain award. We find this out in brief pre-commercial announcement. Thank you for that MTV. For reals.

-Denzel presents Best Movie award to... wait for it... Twilight. I know?! Who would have guessed.

Good night and safe home everybody. This has been Jenn reporting LIVE from The Couch reminding everyone to have your pets spayed or neutered.

Sick Bay 2009, Part 8

Breaking News! Live from The Couch.

-New Twilight clip gets more screams. Jacob? Buff. Transformation to werewolf? Needs work.

Clip makes me wanna re-read books.

-Oscar mock of Ben Stiller's MTV Generation Award presentation is actually kinda funny. Until they add Ben Stiller. Zac Efron was 5 when Reality Bites came out. Christ, I'm old.

- I think WTF Award should have gone to the dude in the Popcorn Man suit. Seriously? WTF?!

-Wonder who will win Best Female Award? Kate Winslet in The Reader? No, wait... Kristen Stewart! Shocker. Why is she so angry? Hey Kristen- way to punch a gift horse.

-Channing Tatum is hot. I'd punch his gift horse!

-I like Kings of Leon live. Didn't think I would.

-More than an hour left?? H E L L Cool J, I need more tea.

Sick Bay 2009, Part 7

OK... at the hour and ten mark.... here are my thoughts since last I reported

LIVE From The Couch!

-Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions song is fun until Will Ferrell shows up dressed as Neil Diamond. Stupid.

-Jonah Hill's reaction to Robert Pattinson winning Breakthrough Actor rules. I would like an appearance by Joel McHale with his thoughts on Pattinson's lame-o facial hair.

- BRUNO descends, balls first, on Eminem and his bodyguards proceed to swat him like a pinata. Em walks and somewhere in that mess Zac Efron wins an award. He gives Oscar speech as it is the closest he should ever get.

-Clip from new Potter RULES.

-random audience plants are stupid.

-clip from I Love You, Man reminds me how much I loved I Love You, Man.

-Kristen Stewart is wearing Chuck Taylors and not well.

-Twilight (the song, the actors, the word...) makes people scream.

-Jim Carey as audience plant is stupider.

-LeAnn Rimes sings I Jizz In My Pants. This is only topped by Forest Whitaker singing

Dick In A Box.

-Miley Cyrus is a big fan of Lil Wayne. She's so white. And says... "I wanna thank God. DUH."

(of course, I do like The Climb a lot. So, whatevs.)

Sick Bay 2009, Part 6

Popcorn Man. Yeah. No. Ten bucks says it's Will Ferrell.

MTV loves their men like they love their ice dancers... covered in spandex.

Sick Bay 2009, Part 5

With nothing else on... I have decided to watch MTV. For those of you without strep... here is a wrap up- so far anyway!

Reporting Live from the Couch on this evenings MTV Movie Awards.

You're welcome.

-Opening Bit? Retarded. Not a Samberg fan, I'm sorry. And I am pretty sure Kate Winslet just threw up in her mouth a little (if she is watching).

-Ashley Tisdale (HSM3) wins first award- Break Through Female. She thanks her cast and calls them her "best friends"... cut to Zac & Vanessa who look surprised at this news.

-Samberg welcomes us back from commercial by singing a bit from "This is How We Do It".

I like that.

-A Ha's Take On Me plays during Twilight's Best Fight Scene clip. Robert Pattinson needs a tan when not in vampire mode. We all know he's Edward Cullen.

-Taraji P Hensen likes Eminem a little too much or perhaps, fire ants were in her dress?

-the lemon dill dressing on my salad from BZ Grill might be delish if I didn't have strep.

-Cut to Miley Cyrus during Eminem's performance... she's white. Sandra Bullock? Whiter.

That brings us to the half hour mark... Stay tuned!

Sick Bay 2009, Part 4

5 Hour Nap? 1

Hours of Graham Norton Pre-Nap? 3

Sore, stilted laughs at Graham's crazy antics? Priceless.

But back to the nap... I do love naps. And I think, maybe, potentially- there is an ease in the pain!!! Could the antibiotics be working? Could the lyrics to the Bridezillas theme song really be-

"can't talk to her, can't kill her. She's Bridezilla!"?? Big questions. Big Questions. Next up on the question list... food or who will deliver the bestest comfort food?

Sick Bay 2009, Part 3

Well timed photos arrive during my latest cup of tea! ADORBS!

My neice and nephew sure are cute!

Super Cute Photos To Make Me Feel Better? 30ish

Sick Bay 2009, Part 2

Fuck you, Groomer Has It. For your Quick Sniff challenge grooming stray dogs that no one wants. Like I needed something else to cry about today. I want to adopt all 6 dogs.

And also for your Jason Vorhees, horror movie, knives slashing sound effects. Am I supposed to be scared? Why do you want to scare me AND make me cry? Stupid Animal Planet.

Maybe I can find an episode of some makeover show involving a disaster struck fat single mom with two kids (one in a wheel chair, of course) who lose their house to a tsunami but find love and weight loss through a make over and feng shui?

Skinny Cow Ice Cream Treats? 2

Sick Bay 2009, Part 1

Day 2 of ridiculous return of Swine. I don't think I have swine flu or anything- in fact I think I have spontaneous strep throat. I was feeling sore throat-y on Thursday. Jay came home from school sick on Friday. GREAT show Friday night but very lackluster post-performance behavior from yours truly as I fought the threat of SORER throat. Got home and warned Nannyland that the Hamptons may not be happening for yours truly and heard that Jay was even sicker at that point. And yesterday? Yesterday SUCKED. My throat hurt sooo much that even the Halls of Medicine couldn't help. Strepsils failed! Strepsils never fail- it's why I import them. I called in Dr. Eunice who is convinced she herself has the swine (though as a doctor who recently treated some Fleet Week Swine sailors- she actually has it. Bless)... She called in a Z pack and I am patiently awaiting it to kick in. I hit the sack immediately post-Harper's Island.

This morning, I was up at dawn. I had had this crazy dream that I was in charge of the physical education program for a school run by the mob and had to make a cake for the Mob Boss who was also my lover. I had to steal cake batter in the middle of the night. And Shaun Francis was in it. Weird. Needless to say- gargle, tea, Chloroseptic and two Strepsils later... I was back in bed with Maria Mena and Klondike on the iPod counting the minutes. (The minutes until the antibiotics kicked in- still counting, btw).

So, because I need something else to focus on... as it is only a short leap from hoping these tears will cool my Throat of Fire to thinking about how they haven't helped the ache in my heart in these past 364 days... I am "twitterblogging" my day. I don't twitter. Whatevs. But I will be hopelessly annoying today!! Who's the lucky reader?!

Cups of Tea? 5

Skinny Cow Ice Cream treats? 1

Hours of Bad TV? 2

Minutes Since I started Z Pack? 942

Clucking SICK Again!!!

I Am A Packaging Whore II

What? The tissues are in a box shaped like an orange slice? Yes, please.

Look What's New In The Neighborhood!

I am a Packaging Whore

Even if the packaging is on a store.

Dirty fruit vendor? Never.

Add Hula skirt to the awning? I'm IN!

dirty fruit vendor/ south side of 31st street, astoria


new skirted fruit vendor/ north side of 31st street, astoria

A Giveaway!!

I love a giveaway*. And when the prize is Thin Mints? Oh, I am in!!

And so, A Girl, if I had to choose my own name

(and oddly, I have been lucky enough to actually do so!)... I would choose...

Bella DaBalls

I love the name Bella. It makes me feel pretty and Italian and feminine.

I like DaBalls cause it's tough and fierce and funny.

If Bella had a middle name, it would be Grace.

And Bella would look like this....

*What? You want some Thin Mints? Click on the the Jumping in the Rain Puddles of Life link to the right to see how!

If You Get the Swine, You Get Free Stuff!

Ripped from the pages of Newsday's Fanfare section...

Happy Memorial Day.

Oh, and also- there was baseball.

PBR? 9 dollars.

Calories? 195.

An evening at the NEW Yankee Stadium with cool peeps? Priceless.

(No, really. Priceless. DD got the tickets from work.)

Coupons Be Illin'

Awww, Yeah.

Wow.

Stylish? Sure. (especially to the Ram that sacrificed its horns for this dress)
Scary and Inspiring? Seems so. (see Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada)
Slender? Like a pale, starving African but without the paunch.
Out of Line? Well when you weigh the same as the average 8 year old- who doesn't look like a house? Obviously- I am a 12 bedroom mansion but when runway models are 3 floor townhouses- I say "come on over, my house is fabUlous and has cookies, bitch!"

"I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only kindly describe most of the people I saw as little houses."
-Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue, on the prevalence of obesity in the U.S.

Thank You, Owners of the BFG Apartment Building!

For planting these however long ago you did... They have maintained their loveliness and I am grateful to see them bloom!

Oh, and they smell nice, too!

Good Thang Quatro!

Oh, Cat Deeley... I missed you so. And here we are- just 46 minutes into the first show of the new season and you are already beautiful and charming and just flat out adorbs! Girl crush? Back on!! And how can that not be a Good Thang?

Good Thang The Third!

Look what my Mama did? Knowing the week I have had and the deaths that have plagued the patio and well, me... she pressed some lilies of the valley from her house and sent them to me!! That is a Good Thang! And my Mama... is beyond a Good Thang! And I love her.

Out of The Mouths of Babes!

Facebook Message from High School Friend:

Hey Jen! My little girl just hopped on my lap as I was on my FB friends page. She saw your pic. and said,"Daddy, that girl looks cool!" Daddy said," good eye honey. She is cool, very cool."

Said High School Friend and I in 1990