A Peep-tastic Tragedy...

Long ago, I took a writing class. Not 'cause I don't know how to write but because I thought, if I am in a class that I have to show up at with new material every week, I will write more. The Weight Watchers meeting theory of writing. And yeah, I wrote more. I also had an ill fated fling with the teacher that ended when he moved to Turkey. (yes, Turkey.)

I met some great folks though, including an older Polish woman who had a life story that was both amazing and tragic. Her grasp of written English, however, was just tragic. Taking to yours truly, she invited me to her home to go over her memoir with my trusty red pen. I was touched to be of assistance and almost too moved by her memoirs to correct them. (almost.) It was while sitting in her dining room, trying not to cry, I spied the most amazing thing. There, on her hutch, a chocolate covered Peep. And as she spoke of how her father was tortured, I jumped up and shouted "WHAT IS THAT?" (always respectful.) She explained that she makes them for her grandchildren. Why had I never thought of doing such a thing??? I love Peeps. I love chocolate. I love that little old woman. I have long forgotten her name but the chocolate covered Peeps-

I have thought of ever since.

I tried making them myself. It isn't easy. The Peeps have to be just a bit stale (or ripe, as I call it), the chocolate can't be too hot, you can't lay it on too thick. Not easy. A stall in a mall in Hicksville out on the isle of the Long, used to sell them at Easter time- made by a local candy shop. But with that tiny exception- it has been all me and my microwave and my fat ass.

So, you can imagine my excitement when I found these!

Yep, there I was, just poppin' into the grocery store- covered in glitter and bad burlesque make-up (got some stares.) And at the register... this brand new Easter-time delight!! I couldn't wait to get home and rip into these bitches!

Even Ripley could feel my excitement and thought for sure she should get in on this action!

Luckily, her cast slows her down.

And so... unable to contain myself for one more second- I ripped into it.

It looked like a chocolate covered Peep and it looked delicious and I bit into it

and

EWWWW! GROSS!

It is just some Peep shaped, dirty marshmallow creme filled YUCK!

No, real Peepness to it at all.

what a disappointing thing.

I thought the circle was complete, the dream fulfilled.

nope.

gross.

even my old Polish lady friend would have found this tragic.

and she knew from tragic.

oh, well.