Hamptons + Adam = FUN!

Fix Me A Turkey Pot Pie!

WAY better than soup!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Give Thanks. Be Full.

I am full of thanks for YOU!

Ahh, Snapfish...

What a delightful mug I was able to create with your help!

Adam and I were very excited to take a pic for Eli!

We even decided that blurry edges and a twinkle would only enhance the goodness!

(in hindsight, perhaps the focus should have been the mug! There are 12 pics of me and Eli on it! It is a fine gift idea, btw!!)

Almost Made Me Spit Out My Beverage!

Two times in the last couple days, I have read something so funny, I almost spit my beverage out....

On Sunday, whilst watching the AMAs (or killing time until True Blood- whatevs!) and singing the praises of Pink and her performance via texts with my Mom... this was her response!

Isn't it delicious when your Mother can accept your imaginary Supermodel girlfriend?

Ginger Ale (almost) all over the place!

And this morning, as I approached ye olde lap top, cup of tea in hand, big stretch going on...

I found this! Lodgers are FUN!!

TEA (almost) DOWN!!

Ahhh, a "check" and a note...

Did He Really Want To Hurt Him?

LONDON (Reuters) - Singer Boy George handcuffed a male escort to the wall of his London home after accusing him of hacking into his computer, a court heard on Monday at the start of his trial on false imprisonment charges.
The former Culture Club frontman, being tried under his real name George O'Dowd, made contact with 29-year-old Audun Carlsen over the Internet and the pair arranged to meet for a pornographic photo shoot, the Press Association reported.
Snaresbrook Crown Court in east London heard how the meeting appeared to be going well until O'Dowd started to suspect Carlsen of hacking into his computer.
But they parted on good terms and the singer paid the younger man 300 of the 400 pounds they had agreed.
Over the next few weeks, they exchanged emails in which the singer accused Carlsen of breaking into his computer system and the pair also disagreed over the naked pictures.
But in later emails, O'Dowd said he would like to see Carlsen naked and they agreed to meet for a second time.
It was during this encounter that O'Dowd appeared to "take matters into his own hands," prosecuting lawyer Heather Norton said, and chained up the younger man.
Carlsen told the court that a second man helped hold him down while O'Dowd beat him.
"George was slapping me and beating me and punching me and screaming things," he said.

Carlsen said he managed to escape after unscrewing a hook from the wall, and the court was shown photographs of red welts on his head and injuries to his arm which he said had been inflicted during the attack. O'Dowd denies the charges against him. The case continues.

And on Sunday...

We gave thanks for Jake! The only boy in a room full of women who was NOT disappointing. And even though, we know that someday, odds are Jake won't call her back, he won't tell the truth, he will be unable to man up, he'll bail on plans and basically- just be a guy...

for now, he had us all wrapped around his little finger!

And I was darn thrilled to be there!

CUTENESS Cornucopia!!

On Saturday, we gave thanks for so many things- the popper coming up, the brave ringleader of the cuteness fest, a stunning feast and most importantly... each other! I am beyond thankful for my dear Hanna for easily 8,456 things (and that's just this year) but at the top of my list right now is my "Cornell In-Laws"!! Without her, I wouldn't know Amy and Shannon and Eunice and Marike and I am so blessed and thankful for their friendship! And if their four little cuties can't make a gal feel the bounty of goodness that they haveand give thanks for... well, I don't know what would!

(And don't even get me started on William....)

FYI- Number two on the list is her Cranberry Sauce!

I took some home and have since put it on oatmeal, dipped a scone in it, and added it to booze!

Good friggin' stuff!

True Blood...

...I miss you already and the season finale hasn't even aired yet!!! But you- yes, you, Lafeyette- it is you I will miss most of all.

No Longer a Virgin!

I have lived in New York City for just over 12 years. In that time, I have done many a stereotypical NYer thing- I killed a cockroach and went back to sleep (the first moment I felt like I belonged here), I no longer run to the empty car on a packed, rush hour subway (there's a reason it's empty- normally, it's homeless and it smells), I order meals to be delivered just for me, despite living in Astoria- I have bemoaned going "all the way to Brooklyn!", I have been in Harlem at 2AM and lived!, I go to the movies alone. I get excited now at things that were everyday in my youth- Wegmans, $1 chicken wings, entire bar tabs under $20, driving, hot dogs on a grill....

But there was one mission I had chosen to accept, one boundary I hadn't crossed, a cherry to still be popped and I am happy to report that.... yesterday, for the first time in 12 years, one month, and one day (I am almost positive)- I dropped off my laundry for someone else to do!!!!!

That's right! Yesterday, I picked up my sparkling, clean whites- all of them folded. Apparently, one can fold a fitted sheet after it has been taken out of it's packaging... who knew?? And I made my bed and slept like a bear in winter! (though that may have been the emotional exhaustion of the last few days + red wine + Advil PM) I may have dropped them off like a guy buying his first box of condoms ("um, just looking. So, I will take a 50cent box of Tide, some dryer sheets, oh, and how did these get in here?! Well, I'll just take them...") but I picked them up with glee! So, thank you, Lovely Ladies of Laundry for being the most sparkling, freshest scented, lowest cost first EVER!

Nothin' Like A Little Kid N Play...

...first thing in the mornin'!

"Much more than hair and a smile!"

Everytime he speaks...

...I fall more in love!

He was just a treat tonight on The Report.

Like a Cory Booker cherry on top of a Colbert Fudge Sundae!

YUM!

Carb Overload

Long have I loved the Rigatoni and newly have I adored the toast!

Who says carbs are bad?!

Make Mine A Double!

Allowing an old friend to move into your home because they are in a horrible situation that could undo all the work he has done to become and stay sober? 48 hours.

(of finding homes for an entire room full of well, crap!)

Amount of sanity that seems to be flying out the window as the hour of his UHaul approach approaches? Seemingly all of it.


Wanting a HUGE cocktail (or 12) to kick off the day and get ready for 5 of his AA pals to invade my home with furniture and my new lodger? PRICELESS!
(or problematic... you pick!)

I Want A Shed!

Yep, a shed. I can store rakes and Gnomes and my BBQ grill in it...

And maybe any number of boxes of crap from my needing to be emptied spare room!!!!!

Besides- who else has a shed in Astoria?

This is a lovely cedar option...

Of course, those plastic ones are a bit closer to what my shed budget may allow!

Word!

The following words have been added to the Oxford Dictionary....

Aerobicized

Blowback

Bahookie

Crunk

Hoodie

Meh

Riffage

Zombie*

Or if you prefer them in a (run-on) sentence...

MEH! My bahookie is so aerobicized 'cuz I was crunkin' hardcore in my hoodie to his phat guitar riffage workin' off all this frustration I gots 'cuz of the blowback from this election and shit!

*for the record- zombie has been a word for some time now but a new definition has been added! Something to do with computers... Whatevs! The zombies in this pic are old school zombies! WORD!

As of Thursday...

...I gots me a roommate, kids!!

He is this guy!

We were so cute then! And Thursday night we are reenacting this pic again!

I better get me some Aussie Scrunch Spray! MMM, grape-y!

1990... it was a very good year....

NOR WIDE!

God Damn Bills. The ghost of Scott Norwood strikes again. My stomach hurts. I need a chicken wing.

Window Shopping on Great Jones...

Happy Monday!

...and CONGRATS to the winner of Saudi Arabia's Beautiful Goat Pagent! Who knew?!

(This is a a Damascene Goat fathered by Saudi Arabia's most famous sire, Volcano. And though female goats got to attend, females did not! In addition to the four legged beauties, the fellas were treated to fireworks and a competition for the Best Poem praising the goat.)

(I wrote an Ode To The Whammy, once. I believe it started- "Whammy, oh whammy"... I won nothing as the show went off the air soon after. I'd have taken a goat!)

Avenging Unicorns!!

The Unicorn Code

1) Unicorns never lie.

2) Unicorns always lend a helping hand.

3) Unicorns are loyal.

4) Unicorns can keep a secret.

5) Unicorns don't use drugs.

...and apparently they hate Mimes! Can't blame 'em, really! But as a belated birthday play set? They RULE!!!

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog....

...and we return with Sweet, Sweet Aidan!

I Interrupt This Blog...

...to bring you an important message from Robb Leigh Davis. Because I believe in his spirit and his passion and his opinion and intellect. I publish his Op-Ed piece in full because I hear his soul in this and I yearn for him to feel the big, giant grown up steps he deserves to feel. I am a white woman, a woman who can choose to marry and divorce anyone with a penis- despite their worthiness, a woman who voted Obama, a woman who comes from a place with very narrow beliefs and his words speak to me, they educate me, they make me want to appeal to my higher angels in my choices. They make me want to be a better human. I hope they do the same to you! love, jenn

SILLY NIGGERS, VOTIN’S FOR WHITE PEOPLE

We the people. To this very day I remain perplexed as to whom the founding fathers believed they were fooling. Elementary-aged children still learn of them as freedom-loving rebels, escaping the tyranny of British rule to establish a free society, which guaranteed liberty & equality as God-given birthrights of every human being.

Of course, we’ve known for some time that the freedoms they so valiantly championed belonged solely to their mirror image. Not the slaughtered natives, enslaved Africans, or women in their midst. Simply white men. And, had they possessed knowledge of the income to be generated by the Industrial Revolution, membership to their club would have another caveat: Wealthy White Men Only Need Apply.

My pre-collegiate years were spent expressing vocal disapproval at having to exalt a group of misogynistic, ethnic-cleansing slave-traders in a paternal way: though their blood and semen is, undoubtedly, deeply embedded in my family tree. Yet, as I took issue with their hypocrisy, I was consistently drawn to the key words of their principled stand: We the people. A statement selectively strung through the polemics of pundits, preachers and politicos professing to abhor discrimination and bias.

However, bigotry is alive and well in America. Not just of the noose variety, or the kind that demonizes present-day immigrants while ignoring the reality that – save for the enslaved Africans brought here against their will – nearly every citizen of this country is descended from an immigrant in search of the American dream. The bigotry that exasperates me is the double-speak of candidates and President-elects as they show their true colors in the most politically correct of ways.

Q: Do you support equal marriage rights for gay and lesbian citizens?
A: I support civil unions.
Q: But do you support the right for gay and lesbian citizens to be married just as heterosexual couples are?
A: I believe, and my religion tells me, that marriage is an institution for men and women, but I support full equality in the form of civil unions blah blah blah…

Excuse me, but…what the fuck? This is a joke, right? No matter the beauty of your rhetoric, or the stylizing of its overwrought delivery, what you’re saying is, “While we’re both citizens of the country, I’m entitled to certain rights and privileges that you are not.” Reprehensible.

Is there not one moderator or journalist with the acumen to reference the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution? Have we, as a culture, pleaded amnesia in regards to Brown vs. The Board of Education? Or, does the silence of the allegedly liberal mainstream media imply that overturning Plessy vs. Ferguson was an error?

By lineage, I’m a descendant of the fields and farms of Alabama and North Carolina, passionately connected to the American South and the myriad Black aspect of the nation’s culture. I know of midnight conversations where grown folks discussed the way it was: police dogs and full-throttle fire hoses as an acceptable means of democratic order.

History has taught me that it was the judicial system and the tenacity of activist judges that led to the eradication of these practices, acknowledging the disparity of American life. Without them I very well could still be legally banished to the back of the bus, drinking from a separate fountain and urinating in facilities deemed appropriate for my use.

Yet today, a few weeks away from the year 2009, separate but equal is being resurrected, damn near championed, as the norm. Politicians feel utterly at ease expressing the notion that Americans who are gay are deserving of equality, so long as it’s couched in acceptable terminology. And if that’s the case, I’m left to believe my ancestors were granted equality as the result of a clerical error.

Perhaps the judicial system should have adopted a second-class jargon. Perhaps white Americans should have retained the right to “vote,” but Blacks granted “Negroes-go-a-pollin’ day.” This way the majority class could retain a superior terminology. Surely God wouldn’t have approved of Coloreds being accorded respect, since everyone knows that treating them as equals would lead to the collapse of civilization. “Silly niggers, votin’s for white people.”

As a gay Black man alive in contemporary America, I recognize myself as a warrior against discrimination just as my elders and ancestors railed against in the past. And, as I move through the streets of L.A., witnessing the fallout over Prop 8 and similar state-wide measures attempting to adjust their constitutions, I veer between disdain and rage that our President-elect – an individual whose identity was historically dismissed as second-class and unworthy of the right to cast a vote, let alone ascend to the highest political office in the land – can run on a platform that advocates discriminatory practices no matter how politically correct the terminology or eloquently presented speeches he crouches behind.

This isn’t about same-sex marriage leading to marriage rights for zoophiles, and I’d like to propose a national bitch slap day for the next foolhardy politician or clergyperson daft enough to continue making such asinine and offensive comparisons. This isn’t about churches or the personal beliefs of the candidates and their religious advisors. This is about holding certain truths to be self-evident: that equality under the law is guaranteed to me by birthright as a member of “We the people.” And while I understand politics and the doublespeak built into it, in 2008 I also comprehend human decency. Fair is fair. Period. At 35 years old, my interest in baby steps died three decades ago.

So to the President- elect and his visionary administration my question remains as it’s been since the announcement of your candidacy. “Do you stand for equal rights, or not?”

Because I know change. And, if you don’t champion my equality, then from where I stand you, sir, are no agent of change. Simply more of the same.

* Robb Leigh Davis is a writer living in Los Angeles.

PS... any and all comments will be passed on to Robb so please, please add your thoughts...

I Want A Secret Service Code Name!!

So, you may have heard that all first families get Code Names from the Secret Service- though they aren't really used, it's just tradition! (Note to SS- don't publish them in a free daily newspaper if you DO choose to use them!) I like young Malia's.... Radiance! The rest are cool, too- Renegade, Renaissance and Rosebud. Biden got "Celtic". Is he? Whatevs...

The point is, I want ONE!! And I bet you do, too!! What would yours be?? What should mine be?? Maybe I will think of one for you?? I say we form our own Secret Service Code Name Division (as a Majordomo, I form divisions all the time- my latest? The QCD or Quantity Control Division) and start using 'em!! Or NOT?! Just let them exist....

(I Google Imaged "Radiance" for a pic... turns out, this stone is called radiance! Wouldn't have been my first image choice but I like the covertness of it all....It has all the duality a Code Name should have!!)

Wisdom From The Bus

"I get so screwed up just trying sometimes, you know?"

I do know, Vocal Stranger on the M60. I do.

We Have A Winner!!!

And so, I have sniffed the sniffs and smelled the smells. And though a very close second is Philosophy Amazing Grace and I really enjoyed Lavanila Vanilla Grapefruit... I really enjoy feeling like a Princess! Or smelling like one, as the case may be. It is sheer and floral and fruity and whimsical and oak-y (no, that's a chardonnay) anyway... I LOVE IT!! It appears I am playful, unpredictable and fearless!!

Of course, now I wanna try another Scent Box but I will wait a bit, I think! And just in case I feel like changing my mind... I have many, many ounces to try again!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

My Dad & My Uncle Roger, 1955

Empty

Sometimes, in the middle of a fine day. A day when you roast pumpkin seeds and rake leaves and make yourself a turkey sandwich. Just a day. The grief comes out of nowhere. Catches you so unprepared, so unaware and so defenseless that it sends you to the ground. Shaking and weak and crushed all over again. Wishing it wasn't happening, wishing he was still here, hearing his voice in your head as you crumble to the ground because your legs can't hold you any longer. Logic leaves. Reason follows and you are left unable to breathe. Unable to see or smell- so wrapped up in memory as if he was right there whispering, "it's good to have you home, boo".... and you simply die all over again.

All you can do is pick yourself up, off the shower floor, wrap yourself in a towel and cry. Weep for what isn't. Weep until the trembling subsides and you wait for the next wave. Hope exhaustion catches you in the meantime. Hear the voices in your head telling you to breathe.... and try to listen. You know time heals. You know you have to own the loss before you can let it go.

Sometimes, there isn't enough strength to bear the weight. And hollow, you take to your bed. Hoping you have poured enough of the poison out to let sleep take you.

The Demise of Mr. Flamingo

Spent some time on threadless.com last night... this is my favorite t-shirt design (for obvious reasons!!) Sadly, it only came on olive tees or I would have promptly ordered one!

Olive would be the demise of my skin tone!

And Speaking of SYTYCD....

....this was the very clip that sent me ass over tea kettle for Cat Deely! (I was LONG gone over Twitch by then!)

So, You Think You Can Blur...

And off we shuffled to Newark last night (home of my new favorite mayor) to the Prudential Center to see the live performance of So You Think You Can Dance! Sadly, Cat was elsewhere. Not as sadly, Mary was also! (The Hot Tamale Train should be for hot and hearing impaired with the way that woman screams!) The show was fab, the dancing- wonderful, the 6 packs? Out and HOT! (Woo HOOO) The dancers were also doing the chatting and "sketches" between the numbers and though some did a great job (Twitch, Will, Gev) some, should not audition for So You Think You Can Act anytime soon... We weren't supposed to use flash, and having a moment of respectfulness- I didn't. Thus- not my best photographic effort but still coolio!!

The Finale. Start at the end, that's what I always say!

The blue-ish, white-ish blur is Joshua, this season's winner! Can you say HEIGHT?! Mark

Twitchington! (and Twitch's abs... dreamy)
PS... after an hour long ride to Newark- in which a scripted, rehearsed, conferred upon, well discussed lecture was given to the children of Nannyland- our lecturer realized whilst patting herself on the back, that she had forgotten the fucking tickets. Thus leading to begging, cajoling, flirting, and a multitude of phone calls and the graciousness of the staff of the Prudential Center being our tickets to the show!

Sweet Mother of God- my job is ridiculous.

I Post...

...because my T Shirt rules!

Amen.

I love me some Rachel Maddow...

So, although Kerry pushed me in the direction of the Rachel Maddow show- it was Rachel herself who hooked me and pulled me in and now I can't get enough! I love everything about her- her intelligence, her awkwardness, and her humor! LOVE.

Tonight, her guest was Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark. And I think I love him, too! At least enough to make me excited to go to Newark tomorrow night for the So, You Think You Can Dance show! (I hope Cat Deely is there! She makes me want to cheat on my girlfriend, Heidi Klum) (This is a really interesting, love fest of a post! Even for me!) Anyway, Cory was talking about the difference in Obama's campaign and the way he sees the potential for America's change. He mentioned that he was glad to see that Obama didn't bow to "false issues or issues that excite anger or appeal to peoples lowest angels". Isn't that amazing?! He wants us to be proud and excited to look at issues that "appeal to our highest angels"!! I also love this whole idea! And although I think we, as a nation, as individuals- have a long way to go to reach our highest angels, making choices that appeal to them appeals to me!

And though California has taken two steps back with their approval of Prop 8 especially as a proposition passed that outlaws cramped cages for egg-laying chickens, the opportunity to respect the rights of everyone who loves as much as the rights of the egg-laying chicken is still there! Right? Appeal to your highest angels! Everyday. In every choice.

Cory and Rachel were also talking about how limited they believe the role of the traditional party played in last night's election and Cory shared this thought... "America is not about left or right (anymore), it's about FORWARD and backward!" I think, our highest angels would want us to move two steps forward! I think that would not only appeal to them but make them smile with grace.

Now put on the Paula Abdul, I got inspiring messages to cross stitch!

I Got Me A Lodger!

His name is Adam and he has a butterfly.

(On his "suitcase", it said- Adam w/butterfly -so clearly, it's important to state!)

He was sent to live with me by my glorious nephew, Eli! And I love him. And his butterfly.

(We are considering calling the butterfly 'Bama- but it's still up in the air! We are going to throw it around the old cocoon and see if we like it in the morning!)

In addition to Adam and his Butterfly- I LOVE ELI!

Hee Hee

A giant thanks to Robb Riedel for my new favorite website (and addiction!)!!

GO! Send me a card!

(oh, and not really, Mom! It's just a funny card!)

Amen.

No Matter How You See It.....

I Couldn't Be More In Love

...with this song right now!

SCENTsational!

LAMB, fine. Pretty. According to my scent book guide, it's tone is "I WANT YOU ALL OVER ME". Yeah. No. Gavin Rossdale? Yes. Didn't hate it.
However, next in line was Lavinala Laboratories Vanilla Grapefruit. It is the first one I have wanted on for two days! And it was a hit with the women of Nannyland. It is an all natural perfume combining grapefruit, lime, cedarwood and Madagascar vanilla. "Sweetly seductive and kissed by sunshine"... Amen! Sometimes, vanilla is toooo much but the grapefruit/lime really cut it nicely. Like a slice of lime in an Absolut Vanilla & coke. It is definitely a contender for my free full size bottle!! I filled the atomizer with it! That's how much I like! But in fairness.... Tomorrow- it's you and me, Marc Jacobs!

In the meantime, I am going to sniff my wrist.