Wednesday 30 September 2009

Sweet Tiny Jesus....

Chinese Dwarfs Start Their Own Village

By MIKE BRODY
- A community of dwarfs in China is tired of being discriminated against and is doing something about it.

The Telegraph reports that the people of Kunming, a mountain community in southern China, have set up their own village to escape discrimination from normal sized people.

All of the 120 residents are under 4-feet, 3-inches tall, and they run their own police force and fire department. The group also has turned itself into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing like fairy tale characters. ( See a photo. )

"As small people we are used to being pushed around and exploited by big people. But here there aren't any big people and everything we do is for us," said spokesman Fu Tien.

The dwarf village has sparked debate throughout the country. "When I first heard this I pictured myself obscure freak shows from a hundred years back," wrote one commenter on the GoKunming Web site . "Pay the entrance fee and you can watch these people perform."

Another commenter countered saying, "They can't work anywhere ... so we have a village for them to live and be happy in. ... In China we have villages like this for all kinds of people. ... This way they can get a steady income every month since people come and see them perform."

In the early 1900s, Lilliputia was a Utopian city of little people that prospered within the confines of Coney Island's Dreamland before the whole amusement park burned down in 1911.

1972 Peter Pan Peanut Butter Commercial

I don't know if I would ever want peanut butter again? Creepy!

Sunday 27 September 2009

I've Got One Good Reason For Watching NCIS:LA...

Time For A New Pie!

Ahh, Fall.... My favorite time of year!
And so, your first slice of Hamptons AUTUMN Pie!



Jay took this last one... My kiddos have got such good little eyes!

Saturday 26 September 2009

It's LUMBER JACK DAY???

What? How exciting!! I had NO idea! Thanks, Anne! We are now having pancakes for dinner and chopping down tre... oh, wait. I don't have any.

HAPPY LUMBERJACK DAY TO ALL!

No worries- I am in the Hamptons! TIMBERRRRR!
And now, some Lumberjack Jokes courtesy of
www.lumberjackday.net

What do you call a drunk logger?
A rum-berjack.

What does a lumberjack turn into after a sex change?
A lumberjill.

What did the really macho lumberjack eat for breakfast (and lunch and dinner)?
Mancakes!

What does a lumberjack have in common with Sesame Street’s Count?
They can both count to tree.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I couldn’t cut it.
So they gave me the axe.

Slightly?

How do you get a 7-foot-long alligator to let go of your leg?
Poke him in the eye.
That was Diane Blackwood's successful tactic for freeing herself from the creature's jaws during what was supposed to be a quiet stroll with her two dogs in a Florida park last Monday, the St. Petersburg Times reported. Blackwood had stopped along the shores of Sawgrass Lake in St. Petersburg when she saw the water swirling from something below. She called her dogs, who scampered away -- but she tripped and fell.
That's when the alligator got her.
"It was slightly less painful than the blade of a lawn mower hitting your foot," she said.
At first, she told the newspaper, she tried to pry the strong jaws open with her hands. When that didn't work, she aimed for a softer spot -- an eye.
Blackwood drove herself to the hospital, where she was treated for wounds on her calf and thumb. A trapper caught the alligator a day later.

Friday 25 September 2009

Thoughts For Cross Stitchin'

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change
something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
- Buckminster Fuller*

*BTW- I noted this quote because the dude's name was Buckminster. His real name! It was also his Dad's name
so I guess his Dad was just paying it forward!
That being said... awhile back, whilst Nannyland was on the road in Vermont, there were two other kids there and I couldn't remember their names for the life of me so I called one Bucky, which I said was short for Buckminster!
A name I thought I was making up!! Turns out... no! Who knew!?
Anyway... Buckminster FULLER was an American architect, author, designer, inventor and futurist!
And he gives good quote.

Wednesday 23 September 2009

Coming Out Of Hiding...

...not that I really have been "hiding" but sometimes the Hamptons feels worlds away!
Anyway, if you are in NYC and wanna see ME, I would love to see YOU!!

Thursday, September 24th
(yep, tomorrow!)
Meditation On A Theme
produced by the great, Robb Leigh Davis
"Some Assembly Required"
7PM @ The Center
208 West 13th St., NYC
$10
with
Frank Blocker, Christine Herzog, Elise DelCarlo, Lucas Brook & me!

Tuesday, September 29th
Robb&Jenn Take U Back
Are You There God, It's Me... 1972! The year gave the world so much that we
couldn't help but explore it further!
7:30PM @ Ochi's Lounge (The New Level of Comix)
353 West 14th St., NYC
FREE! (with one drink!)
www.comixny.com for more info
with Robb&Jenn, Anne Altman, Jenn Hyjack, Honi Harlow, Matthew Kelty & more!

Monday, October 5th
Honi's Hide-A-Way
Honi Harlow brings those in the know the people to see! The best and the brightest of NYC's variety scene including... Bella DaBalls!
8PM door & band (The Rossies)
8:30PM @ Fontana's
105 Eldridge St. (bet. Grand & Broome), NYC
$10 (unless you claim to be "a friend" and then it's $5)
with Amber Ray, Bonnie Dunn, Fifi Dupree, Plum Manchego, Miss Delirium Tremens, Donny Vomit, Llewellyn Defoe, Erica Bradshow & Bella, of course!


And if you are not in NYC, then you can find me here!! Look hard!

The Writing On The "Wall"

Many moons ago (OK, it was the Monday after Valentine's Day), I did a show at Fontana's with the delicious Honi Harlow and this was written on the bathroom wall...
Maybe because it was the first burlesque show I had done since the Big End, I found the sentiment particularly stirring! It was my background on my phone for some time. But I also appreciated it's grammatical righteousness. I like my graffiti like I like my emails-
spelling and grammar checked.

Yesterday, I was at Target and I saw this...
Maybe because it is an ugly shirt, I found myself actually reading the sentiment. But I also can't get past it's grammatical dodginess. Right? Is it me? Have I become a red pen carrying stickler?

To The Lighthouse....

So, yesterday- Nannyland was under siege. Cleaning Lady was here and she likes to complain and chat and tell me to buy her cleaning supplies and comment all in broken Slavic English. For example- I had done my laundry and went to grab it before she got to it (she isn't here to do MY laundry after all). She was already throwing in a load and as I grabbed my new bra (hanging to dry cuz the dryer makes it lose its shape!)... she said "is too much". Ummm??? WHAT?! The polka dots are too much? My boobies are too much? It looked like it cost too much?
(It was on sale at Target, btw)

The Lawn Guys were here. Gardner was here. And Handyman was here, too. He tried to send me to the hardware store for caulk. I said, "what's caulk?" He said, "Your father would be embarrassed if he heard you ask that!" (He knows Diamond D is a general contractor) To which I replied, "My Dad would know I was pretending I don't know to get out of going to the hardware store. My Dad was also add, 'what kind of handyman doesn't have caulk in his van?'!" (Exactly what my Dad did say when I told him the tale! I love my Dad's predictable sarcasm.)

And so, Gizmo and I ran and ran and ran all the way to Montauk! (Well, we ran to the Lexus and then drove to Montauk) And we had a lovely time and a delicious sandwich from the local deli! Turkey, bacon, pesto, brie and romaine on homemade sunflower bread!! YUM!! It was our first trip to Montauk and we had a blast! We didn't go to the top of the Lighthouse because Giz wasn't allowed and I am really quite lazy!



I like that they provide a coin operated binocular machine but then a painted slab of the things 30 feet away that I could see without said coin operated binocular machine!


This lighthouse was built in 1796, FYI! Commissioned by George Washington and the first in New York State!! (There was a sign that said all that...)

Some original lighthouse lamps which they conveniently located on the ground floor
for the lazy among us!


This is the first known pic of the original settlers of LI... the Montauketts!
I think that would make a fine faux curse word!
As Montauk is at The End of Long Island... thar be beaches there! Arrgghh!

And Montuak Daisies!
The Montauk Daisy was so pretty in its native land that I bought one for the patio!
The perfect souvenir!

Tuesday 22 September 2009

Devon Strikes Again!

I know that when my girl, Devon sends a Fwd- that it is going to be good!
She is picky like that about what she forwards!
These pics came (via Devon) from a site called People of Walmart. They are not like the Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster.... you see these creatures ALL THE TIME at your local Walmart. Hell, I think I went to high school with this first fella! Regardless- I promise to visit my local Walmart when I go home in October where I will strive to add my very own
Person of Walmart to the collection!

Class of '89?
(Yeah, that's a goat. They don't sell those at the Walmart by my parents...
maybe it is a Seeing Eye Goat?)
HOT!
Really?
(the caption on this one labeled it a "gangster leotard"... HI-larious!

Monday 21 September 2009

Do Over!!

A trip to the Home Depot kicked the patio up a bit...
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
(or in this case- one mum at a time!)



Some Things Never Change!

So, there I am, it's 6:44AM and the Emmy's are tickling my fancy... When another BFG Apartment dweller decided to watch with me...
Two things... my television IS one of them new fangled color ones but I wanted to highlight my little friend. And two- it is a 50inch flat screen (not to brag or anything)
so I figured you could use a close up of said (not so) little friend!
Sorry about that, folks... But he scared me, too.

Though will you look who saved the day?? (And also killed the bug...)
Neil Patrick Harris!!
He sings, he hosts, he eliminates insects...
He is all that AND a bag of chips!!

Is It Just Me...

...or were the Emmy's cooler, hipper, funnier, fun-er, and just more Neil Patrick Harris-er?? I don't watch How I Met Your Mother but I did see Assassins on Broadway so it is not just a bandwagon thing when I say I am his newest, biggest fan!

ps... I am clearly watching now as I DVR'd earlier and sleep is currently not for me. But seriously, even the montages are cooler!
I have decided it is all because of NPH! Adorbs!


Sunday 20 September 2009

OMG! WTF!!

As I think everyone is well aware, I love my patio. I sometimes think it saves my sanity. Since moving in here in November '07- I have cared for, cultivated, weeded, planted, enjoyed, partied, been quiet and loud and reflective and drunk and festive on my patio. When I moved in, it had clearly been neglected. As I understand, illness and death had dictated the care of the foliage and I took over and brought it back to life. I LOVE MY PATIO!

Yesterday morning, I heard a chainsaw type noise. I covered my head with my pillow and went back to sleep. It was only 9AM and a Saturday! When I finally awoke and started moving and went outside, I was shocked to find that the patio had been violated. The chainsaw noise? Someone sawing ALL three trees (including one that is by my living room window) are now stumps. Gnomes were strewn about. Chairs askew. Sure, the shavings were swept up- which is weird for a violent tree saw-er I would think but it was all GONE!! GONE!! I ran up to my neighbors and they had no clue. I called the landlady and the land lady's sister's husband- no answer.

I cannot begin to describe how I felt. How I still feel.... This is such a violent violation. A man with a chainsaw had jumped over my fence and attacked my patio. And to make matters more whack-a-doodle, some fucknut was screaming across the street with a face covered in blood. Same delightful fella who whilst fighting with his girlfriend weeks back, chucked something out a window almost killing the Asian lady sweeping her sidewalk in front of the laundromat! Domestic violence. Flora violence... WTF?!! I sobbed all day yesterday.

When the landlady's sister's husband finally called me back, it was to tell me it was all a MISTAKE!! A fucking mistake. Their gardener was supposed to come trim stuff back here and cut stuff down at a different property owned by the family. A mistake. My patio, attacked, by mistake. With no warning, mind, that a man with a chainsaw would be stopping by and leaping the fence. We have worked out a solution given the massacre.... but it doesn't change the devastation. They now have to try and dig out the stumps for trees so well established, they are effecting the sidewalk so that I can plant something new. Crushed. Crushed. crushed....


This is my patio on September 21st of last year... Complete with my girl, Mantis!

At Easter, Hershey came to visit... Sure, there is no foliage but there are trees for which the foliage to grow on!



In June, we had a BBQ for Eunice... there was bubbles and gorgeous children and privacy created by the foliage!!


The corner of my patio in June...


Labor Day '09 (same corner)


Saturday Morning....


The corner now....






Friday 18 September 2009

My Mama Comes To The Hamptons!

Gizmo loves to work it!!

My pretty Mama enjoying the pool!

I love me a Mallo flower!

Me & my Mama at Wolffer Vineyards in Sagaponack!

I had to take a break and get some work done... Poor me! hee hee

Gizmo embarking his new training regime!

My Mom took this supercool reflective pic... She's so good!