Only on The Upper East Side!

They come with fried chicken and a slice a watermelon!

I think Mr. Wright should change a letter in his wine & spirit shop....

The Return of Products You Forgot You Needed

Just in time for Valentine's Day, some fine selections from the catalog that started it all...

Catalog Favorites!! Order now and get it in time for your loved one!!

For the "Other" With a Sense of Humor

" It's time to clear the air"... $12.95

For the "Other" Who is Doesn't Know Which End Is Up!
Soap... $7.95 The towel is so popular, it's backordered!


For the "Other" that Likes it Like That! (Yeah, Baby...)

Only $34.95 "The results are amazing!"

and For Those Sans "Other"...

It is called the FUKUOK! OMG!

"spring-loaded to adjust to any size finger"

it retails for $19.95 but it's value? Priceless!

25 Random Things- A Facebook Game Made Blog-y*

1. I don't like onions, peppers or mushrooms- making me a difficult to feed I-talian

2. My favorite cookie is chocolate chip meringue (mostly just the ones made by my Mom)

3. I can nap peacefully to Dawn of The Dead, the epic battles of The Two Towers, and really any flick where my insides feel like they match the outside!

4. I have never met a dance show I didnt like (until Superstars of Dance)

5. I earned two degrees at once (a BS and a BFA... though my Dad would call them both b.s.!)

6. I know all the words to Supersonic by JJ Fad

7. Despite the complete lack of it in my wardrobe, yellow is my favorite color

8. I was captain of my cheerleading squad in high school. I was also catain of the Girls Golf Team (though on personality more than merit... Melissa was the Captain of Merit)

9. I worked at Plainville Farms Restaurant for many years. A restaurant that served turkey and required me to wear a bonnet.

10. My first real crush was on Han Solo. I love him. He knows.

11. Grey is my new black.

12. My least favorite holiday is New Year's Eve.

13. I got a fake ID at the DMV with Bryanna in 1990. Made myself 18. We wanted to go dancing (and apparently thought JAIL would be a nice twist!)

14. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled in 1992, I was asked by the anesthesiologist what I wanted to be and I said a singer and then proceeded to sing a song at her request. I recall none of this but my Mom told me she heard me from the waiting room. She said I sounded good. (I had to be knocked out for this procedure as I am a big chicken)

15. I miss my hermit crabs.

16. The biggest trophy I ever got was for a story telling contest in 6th Grade.

17. I have been auctioned off twice. Once in another country and once for more than 25K.

18. I enjoy the gnome but fear the midget.

19. The first time I felt like a "real" New Yorker, was when I killed a cockroach on my wall and went back to sleep!

20. I HATE cockroaches but don't mind the country bugs here at the BFG Apartment.

21. My first real play (well, musical, really) was Alice in Wonderland. I was Tweedle Dum. And a freshman.

22. My title at work is actually... Majordomo. I got a promotion!

23. My heart is healing slower than I would like but better than I ever imagined.

24. I was told by a psychic once that in all my past lives, I was British. And tragic. Go figure!

25. Morning is the only time I don't drink coffee. Morning is tea time.

*I gave you 25... give me 3! I like to know random things. I prefer to discuss them actually. Some people ask things like- "What do you do?" "Do you have children?" "How is your family?" Not so much me. I like "What's your favorite cereal?" "Do you know what a group of rhinos are called?" and "How do you take your coffee?" Knowing those things about a person makes for lasting relationships!! (BTW... Raisin Bran, a crash, and with milk & one sugar)

WHAT?!

Apparently, due to rising flour prices... the Girl Scouts are putting fewer cookies in their boxes! Thin Mints and Tag-a-Longs will fewer and far-er between-er! Weren't there already like 15 in the box? What will there be now- 3? Helllooooo?! I have an ass to maintain here!! Friggin' Girl Scouts.

Careful All You Facebookers!

Man Kills Wife for Changing Facebook Status to 'Single'
We've seen some bizarre Facebook stories in the past, and have warned you on how information on the site can cause people to lose their jobs, but we've never heard a story quite as sad as this. According to the BBC and the Stafford Crown Court, 41-year-old Edward Richardson of Staffordshire, England, killed his estranged 26-year-old wife, Sarah, after she changed her Facebook status to "single."Facebook allows users to indicate their relationship status and what they're looking for (romantic relationships, friendships, etc.). The couple had already separated, and Sarah, a hairdresser, had apparently already given up hope of reconciliation. She changed her status to single on her profile, an act that enraged Edward. After receiving a barrage of angry calls and text messages from her estranged husband, Sarah stopped responding.

My FAVORITE Guinness Ad EVER!

"Anticipation", artist John Gilroy press advertisement, August 1947
Postcard purchased during a very blurry trip to Dublin with Jenn Ritchie
Fall 1994

Well, Thank the Lord for This!

Introducing XXS and Size 0!!!!

Oh, catalogue Gods... you have blessed me this day!

Pass the Hagen-Daaz, it's time to celebrate!!

Morning!

Are there words?

(outside of poor poodle, of course...)

Happy Inauguration Day...

...as I watch the pre-Inauguration ceremonies on TV, and I chuckle along with the newscasters as they make fun of the "Obama Knickknacks" for sale (The Audacity of Soap bars sound like good, clean fun) and I think what I have been thinking for months.... this day is not about one man. It is not solely about Barack Obama, the man. It is about what he represents and what we ALL need to embrace today. It really is about the change WE all want to see. The change we NEED to be.


From my little desk I wish Obama the best of luck and the brightest of lights to carry as we ALL aspire to appeal to our highest angels...

On a cold day, a fire is so delightful!

I Heart Jason!

Why? Well, because he took me to this store knowing that that is how I spell Nona. And he wanted to give me the gift of picturing my Nona owning a deli/liquor store. What a gem!

(OK, OK in the interest of truth... we went to Camarillo for this ridiculously fantastic BBQ restaurant but he knew about the Nona and he knew about MY Nona so... he is still a gem!)

Can I Sport This?

Let's start here... I look dumb in hats. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. The cleaning lady's 3 yr. old son here in Nannyland burst out laughing when I put my hat on today. Henry is no Tim Gunn but helloooo?! So, I think when you know you don't look good in something, you should just go for fun and look well, fun! And warm. This is the hat I like. Cute, right? Herein lies the rub... that thar be real rabbit fur. I like animals. I don't own a fur coat. I eat meat though never rabbit. But it looks soooo warm. What should I do? To buy or not to buy, that is the question. I certainly don't want anyone spray painting my head in protest....

Who's House?

Congrats Run DMC on your Induction-To-Be into the

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Class of 1009

Not even a little bit illin'!

Products You Forgot You Needed!

As I have discussed before, I get a lot of catalogs! A LOT! Remember when I got the catalog called Catalog Favorites?! I bitched about it awhile back and then ordered something from it!! (A Buffalo Bills Mr. Potato Head for my bro) So, maybe I get A LOT of catalogs for a reason.... How can I spread the wealth??? By passing on to YOU the goodness!

If you get yourself any of these treats, tell the fine folks at Harriet Carter that I said HI!!

The "Fanny" Bank- "breaks wind" with every coin! $14.98
Fleece Earband holds cap on and keeps ears warm- also available in camouflage! $7.98
Heated Gloves! $19.98 a pair! (Sadly, D Battery not included!)

Hair Umbrella- no tedious sweeping needed! $7.98

Some People Shouldn't Breed

GREENFIELD, Calif. (Jan. 13) - Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Police said they only learned of the deal after 36-year-old Marcelino de Jesus Martinez went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as promised.

Martinez was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.

Several cases of meat??? And beer??? I think Marcelino should be sold for a pack of Marlboros and a Bic shank to a well hung inmate who isn't picky where he puts things!

Ass wipe.

I Want My Cat Deely!!!

I have never met a dance show I didn't like. So, You Think You Can Dance? Yes, please! Solid Gold vs. Soul Train? Oh, I am in! My DVR set itself to start taping the new season of America's Best Dance Crew!! I even watched that one that Lucinda Dickey was the judge on because I love Breakin' and Breakin' 2....

And yet this is my second attempt at Superstars of Dance and I HATE IT!!!! OMG Michael Flatley. O M G. It isn't that the dancing is bad- it's really incredible but the set up of the show, the judges, the Flatley??? Only 14 minutes 'til Momma's Boys. Bring on the crazy, racist, umbilical cord carrying Mama's while I dream of Cat....

Who Knew?

Happy Divorce Day!!

Lawyers in the U.K. estimate more couples will decide to divorce on January 12th this year than any other day. While January is always a popular month for splitting couples, this year experts say that the recession had inspired some unhappy couples to stick it out through one more Christmas of shared finances before calling it quits, which they'll do the

Monday after their children return to school.

And that is today!! How exciting....

I wonder what the stats are from the Divorce Fairy???

Yes, Pecan!

But only for January! Oh, Ben & Jerry.... Too clever!

Oh, Sans Pantaloons....

I still love this!! LOVE IT!! I recall the day I checked out my comments and there it was! Genius! And with Jaws being my FAVORITE movie- friggin' ubergenius!

Oh, Sans Pantaloon... you may not have pants but

you had me at, well, the shark!

www.sanspantaloons.blogspot.com

Pussy Purse?

Ummm, as the live ones make me sneeze, I am just not sure how I would carry a purse around. I also think it is a little gross... and brings us one step closer to making stuff out of the hair from our lost two-legged loved ones! YUCK!

I HEART Duct Tape.

That's All.

I just love the duct tape....

You Better Make It Good.

In today's news, a 4 year old somewhere down south, shot his babysitter in the arm for stepping on his foot. That's right- a FOUR YEAR OLD came up with this solution. He also apparently had to find, load and shoot the gun. He knew how to load the gun that he could get to. And had access to the shells. Parents are unclear as to how.

I have A LOT to say about how insane the incident is on about a million levels but mainly this- if the kids I nanny for decided to shoot me for ANY reason, they better make it good as my Dad would say, because if I just have a flesh wound... I am kicking their ridiculous, little asses! Shot in the arm for stepping on a child's foot!! Unbelievable. I stepped on both feet of both kids and one of the dog's just for good measure today!

(The kid is under house arrest as the cops don't know what to do with him, what with him being 4 and all. Maybe his parents will have no idea how he learned to launch a missile next- just in case they need a good story when the new babysitter gives him a paper cut....)

I Resolve....

...not to make resolutions. I don't keep 'em. So, why bother? I do like starting anew with goals and notebooks in September but Jan. 1?? Ehh. What I do like to do is get a little organized. I shred. I love shredding. There, I resolve to shred more!!

While finding things to shred, however, I found this article- ripped from the pages of Oprah or Psychology or Marie Claire- about taking an "Incompletion Inventory". Intrigued, I read it again. I must have saved it for something, right?! (Just like someday I WILL make the sweet potato risotto) The point of the article was to verbalize the crap you have meant to do ("become a yoga master") and the stuff you never got to do ("tell off Geri Clark") and the stuff you will never do and thus should LET GO OF! ("see yoga and Geri Clark")

So, here's what you do.... you answer the following 8 sentences with your unfinished business. Then assign each thing a completion date of N (for Now but really mean Now), L (for Later but assign a date), C (for Complete- you go getter, you) or NTL (for Not In This Lifetime).... And then assumably, you get to work*!!!

1. Things I want to start but haven't started

2. Things I want to change but haven't changed

3. Things I want to stop but haven't stopped

4. Things I started but haven't finished

5. Things I want to do but haven't done

6. Things I want to say but haven't said

7. Things I want to learn but haven't learned

8. Things I have felt but haven't expressed

*I resolve to actually give some thought to this....

Oh, The FUN!!!

(It may not have been on the Eve, but I got the beach to ring in 2Grand9!!! YAHOOO!)

Life in AZ...

...3 Sweet Fun-Filled Days with the kiddos!

Complete with Conquistadors, Pool Faces and Tip Toe-in' thru the Cactus!